anorexia talk – for people recovering from anorexia (2)

This is a special area for people who want to have a small, intimate place to discuss anorexia. It was born via the rather long comment section in an article here on this site about 10 activities that help with recovering from anorexia, which was then moved here. That area has become more successful more quickly than I thought. To make the comment/talk area a bit more easy to navigate, I’ve created this new area here.

A great, huge, big, humongous thank-you to all the contributors. Your fierce commitment to recovering from anorexia and your loving support for each other have truly surpassed my wildest dreams.

Please continue sharing and using this space here.

(I also know there are other sites out there who are very good at helping people with anorexia talk to each other; Somethingfishy is the best example. I certainly don’t want to take away from sites like this; they’ve proven invaluable for people who are trying to overcome anorexia.

However, for those of you who want to stay here, I’d like to provide this space where you can talk.)

Please be aware that this area is visible to anyone who cares to visit; if privacy is important to you, please use an alias.

This is a place of support and respect, a place for sharing your journey in recovering from anorexia. I will remove any comment that is disrespectful or unsupportive (and, of course, any and all spam).

So … go to it! And if you want to follow the conversation, please don’t forget to make sure you’re subscribing to the comments.

(Btw, if you’re interested to hear what has been written on this blog on anorexia so far, here is the list.)

Here are a few things you may want to start out with:

  • Do you get enough support from people around you?
  • How do you deal with the roller coaster of recovering from anorexia?
  • Have you found a food plan that works for you?
  • How do you feel with the feeling of self-loathing that sometimes come up?
  • Do you have tips for finding (and staying with) the right therapist?
  • How long have you been in recovery?
  • What do you do when you can’t stop thinking about the food/weight?

Disclaimer: This site and this page specifically are not meant to be a substitute for face-to-face professional advice. If in doubt, or in an emergency, please visit your local health professional.

(And another note: Any message on this page that seems even remotely like spam will be deleted. This is NOT a place to advertise.)

878 thoughts on “anorexia talk – for people recovering from anorexia (2)

  1. Anonymous

    hey love (:
    i know right now you may be happy with your body but losing that much weight and restricting calories can really take its toll and make things happen that arent too attractive :/ for example your hair can start to fall out, you can lose your period, you mind just dissapears (my grades arent nearly as good) forgetting names even. the simplest things just get so hard to think of, fur grows pretty much everywhere and then since your cold all the time they stick out contantly from goosebumps D: I’v personally gone through (and still am) going through these things and trust me its not worth it ): The bad things start to really just overwhelm the good things until there is absolutely nothing good about it. Besides guys like girls to be soft, when your that skinny the bones start sticking out and hugs arent nearly as nice as they used to be x.x dont worry about your weight, you have amazing self control so youll never have to worry about being overweight or anything of that sort, all you have to try to do is be a healthy happy weight ^^

    goooooood luck ;P

  2. love

    Thank you for your support! This week has been really strong for me and I have been having a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a chicken salad or turkey sandwich and fruit for lunch, a heavy dinner, and ice cream. Today was the only day I felt gross because I added cookies on to my lunch and I just felt too full but otherwise I have been eating every meal. The scale remains the same but I’m eating and feel better. Thanks again

  3. jilly

    to all you girls out there struggling and feeling hopeless:
    i was there not long ago. you can even look at my previous posts from months ago. im so much better now. i LOVE everything and im very happy and i came in first at my cross country meet!! i know i need to eat a ton to stay healthy and active and im fine with that. the most astonishing thing is that i really like my body better now!!!! i gained like 15 pounds but i just feel like my shape fits clothes better! i didnt feel like this AT ALL when i was at my tough stages, but girls, THERE HOPE!

  4. aliyah

    Love- hi im aliyah and ive been thorugh what u have, had bulimia and anorexia since the age of 13, and i am now 20 and so much better and healthy. Recovery is hard and emotiona, but its the ONLY escape. if u stay with ana, u will suffer fertility problems, weak bones, coldness, and heart problems. i can safely say, that when u dont eat, and restrict your obsessions get worse,thats why ana spirals out of control. when u start to eat and get better, it gets less. a starved mind is unhealthy. the best thing to do, is get a meal plan stick to it, and keep busy. food is ur medicine, u will feel better one day. and remember ur not gaining weight, you are just regaining back the weight you lost 🙂

  5. a guy

    im 13 (almost 14) and im a male anorexic.
    been anorexic for a year, but its so bad now i only eat like a few dried fruit pieces in a day.
    i hate seeing my parents suffer by watching me like this.
    i know im anorexic, but i just cant help not eating. my dad says im strong-willed enough to not binge or anything but it kinda makes me wonder why i cant make myself eat even a bit.
    its horrible, im getting skinnier and skinnier i know but i cant help myself. my teeth have lost their colour too and my parents say my face has drained of everything. im going for a hospital appointment tomorrow morning, and I really hope they can do something but im scared what they will do. if they put me in a clinic will they make me eat loads and stuff or will they inject calories into me or something
    i really need someone to talk to thanks

  6. jilly

    hi, i went to a clinic and yes, it is hard. But, it has to get much much worse before it gets better. i got mad when my friends kept saying that but its so true. i was colorles and lacked shape. but just keep in mind that once you get your head straight again and get used to life the healthy way things just click a little more. the colories are torture at first, but you gotta just let go of control for a while and feel the pain of getting better. it will not be fun, but journal and stuff cause its valuable to look back on . i gained insight from getting better and now i have a better life. ps–my parents forced me to get better, so it wasnt will power

  7. a guy

    i went to the clinic today.
    im gonna be in intensive care for the next two weeks.
    its so hard, we have to eat breakfast lunch dinner and like snacks too and they force us to eat and today i broke down at dinner and they gave me some calorie shake or whatever and it was so terrible
    i really hope i can do this

  8. aliyah

    a guy- you can do this. trust me, it gets better in time. i recovered from anorexia and bulimia. its hard, and emotional but recovery is possible. i always though i would never do it, but i did and i know u can also.
    eat what ur given, you need a lot of calories, and remmeber that recovery is abotu REgaining back the weight you lost 🙂
    good luck, stay strong, you will win ! 😀

  9. sarah

    hey (: i was just wondering if its possible to be normal weight but still anorexic, i mean i used to weigh around 95 and now im 110. bbut everyday is obsessed with counting calories and i feel aggitated really often. i still dont have a period and im still losing hair but im eating at least 2000 calories a day. i still work out a bit but hardly anything compared to what i used to do. am i still anorexic? will i ever be able to not be counting calories every second of everyday? i cant even imagine having kids anymore because i get so possesive of food, its so weird i keep telling myself they’ll buy more or theres plently of other things to eat but if my brother digs into one of my foods my chest gets this huge knot and if i dont get my ipod in quick i end up crying or yelling at him. if feels so pointless and stupid but i dont know how to make it stop! D: how do i talk myself out of the anxiety?

  10. Kate

    Hey everyone,
    i just happened to stumble across this website and all I can say is WOW! I’ve been anorexic for about 2 years now and I have lost count of how many times that I’ve made an attempt to recover. I’ve also been trying to find some website where I can relate to others and confide in each other because we are all going through the same thing. Just a week ago, I’ve decided to make another attempt at recovery. This time I want it to be the last one. Does anyone have any more suggestions on how to beat this???

  11. a guy

    i been at hospital about 3 to 4 weeks now i think……
    i’ve been doing okay i guess……
    its pretty hard to eat there, but i can do it ‘cos they’re other anorexics eating too soit’s easier
    im a horrible person at home though. whenever they give me leave, i skip meals, skip snacks, when i do eat i eat half the amount im supposed to, i exercise obseessively and im rubbish at eating at home basically .
    am i going to have to stay at a hospital forever??
    they say that i have to eat what they give if i want to maintain the same weight i am and i;ve lost weight since my leave on the weekend.
    i dont want to though co’s im scared i might gain weight. yet i have to gain weight anyway cos otherwise i get stunted growth and end up really short adult and that means i could get fat easily.

  12. a guy

    one more thing….
    the other day i read a magazine about this woman who was anorexic like really badly
    and she was like reeeeeally really skinny
    and i felt so fat and so bad
    and i wanted to starve
    i’m sick, sick, sick

  13. aliyah

    kate0 yes u can be normal weight and anorexic, because u have the thoughts and behaviours. i think the best thing for you to do, is to eat well, eat 3 meals a day with snacks, focus on a routine of eating, and try to find parts of ur body u do like, and show them off in nice clothes! i recovered from anorexia, dont have the thoughts now, and prefer the way i look. its definetly better to look healthy!

  14. aliyah

    a guy- right now your mind is unhealthy, and thats because it is starved. the less u eat, the worse anorexia gets. this is why u actually really do need to eat , well and REgain back some weigfht. recovery isnt about gaining weight, its about REgaining back what you lost. stay strong, and stop looking at anorexic people, its unhealthy, and sick, and a slow death. i used to be anorexic, recovery is sthe best think i have ever done. i will support and encourage you ! 🙂

  15. aliyah

    sarah- the only way to rid of thougfhts, is to not give into them. i think a but more time and patience, and continued healthy eating and u will definetly get less thoughts., often the thoughts take a lot longer to go than the actual physical side, so just stick in there and u will be fine honestly! and never ever believe those thoughts. just try to replace it with something else.

  16. Sarah

    thank you so much (: im actually getting kind of happier with my body. I even went trick or treating!! ahah im going to get obese from all the chocolate but i hardly care because its a one time holiday and holidays are meant to be celebrated xD hope you guys all get better soon, at first its hard but it get better if you just keep going towards recovery <3(:

  17. Adelle

    Hi ppl. It’s great to find a site where I can read others experiences.
    I am seeing a dietician and had put me on a 1,900 calorie diet a few weeks back. I struggled but one week I finally managed to meet my goal every day. Then the week after (two weeks ago) I was put up straight away to a 2,200-2,300 a day. It seems alot so quickly but the durst week I was on that I put in just half a pound as opposed to 2pound which I had put on during the 1,900 week. So my metabolism must be catching up.
    I do find it so scary though…my stomach still gets bloated and looks pregnant but i am handling portions better as in not feeling as full afterwards.
    But I feel out of control. I still think about food all tje time snd crave it.
    I still think I’m having two portions of say noodles or something instead if one. I get addicted to certain foods that I acually enjoy.. And then I worry it’s too much or I’ll get flabby cod it’s not in moderation if it’s everyday or twice a day. Eg: ommelettes/egg whites, English muffin 1or2 with ham, egg and slice of lowlow cheese.

    Anyway my dietician is excellent and answers everything. But one thing I can’t get my head round is he always says I can’t overdo it at the moment, there is no limit to how much fat, sat fat or sugar daily I can consume…that the GDAs don’t apply to me. He said if it wernt for nutritional needs for the human body (ESP mine as it is ATM) then I could have 8mars bars a day and I wouldn’t get fat if I’m in my calorie range: he said it’s all about calories, not fats and sugars anyway.
    And he wants me to have two or at least one proper pudding a day such as rice pudding or sponge pudding with custard instead of weight watchers desserts etc.
    I love weight watchers desserts so I will keep getting them every so often but I need these proper puddings to get calories in easier and to get used to real food and tastes again.
    Can anyone pls match his advice? Is that right that fats etc don’t apply to me? I hope so cos it excites me that I can eat whatever I want whenever as he says ATM and not gain flab. I still got to have nutrition of course…he isn’t saying to just eat chocs, pudding etc but he wants me to have them cos i gotta learn to enjoy my food without being scared.
    I havnt had anything but crisps everyday with my lunch and one square of dark chic the other day as far as junk food goes. I do have two to four rich tea biscuits daily with a cuppa tho.
    I look things up and read no fats are still bad for you evrn if you are underweight etc. And I gotta work out too. My advisors tell me to only exercise as I’m walking 15-20 mins a day if I want to and I’m allowed to do yoga and weights etc but ive yet to keep up with the weights as I find it too boring 🙁
    I do crunches alot amd most days do 15 mins of yoga on wii fit.
    The only walking I really do apart from shopping omce or twice a week is walking round the house all morning doing housework which is more than 15minutes totalled anyway I’m sure.
    I’m not really skinny or anything. I went down to 7and a half stone (maybe more) from 18/19 stone when I decided to lose weight. My periods have stopped, I’m bony in some places and I’m cold and tired all the time. Last week I weighed in and came to just over 8 stone.
    The dietician says for me (age 26, female, 5ft 5, and my activity level which I think is mainly sedentary cos I’m too tired to do anything but lie down all day and I can’t work), I burn about 1,500 a day and my ideal weight is 8st 8 to 10 10 I think ge said. We are upping calories to reach a goal quicker of 9st or 9 abd a half.
    I just ate two eggs in a ham ommelette abd feel fat knowing there’s 50% fat in that!! Already half the GDA!! I want another one so I’ll just use egg whites. Wonder how many to use to make same size ommelette? Egg whites are ok to eat few times daily? Sorry for the ling post. I got no choice but to listen to the dietician and I hope to god he’s right about the fats etc. I know my body needs em but I said so I can go three or four times over the daily limit a day then every day and not get flabby or fat and not pile it on? He said that’s right. Not that I would of course.

  18. Jen

    i just got diagonsed with anorexia – bulemia , my docotrs are making a meal plan for me and are forcing me to eat and watching everything i eat. Its so hard. I’ve never found anyone to talk to with this same problem until this website i just was wondering if any of you had anytips of how to get through the first stages of recovery without going crazy!

  19. Neko

    Hi Jen,
    Do you have a trustworthy friend(even if it is just one) that you might be able to open up to about everything that is going on? It was scary for me to take that leap because I don’t trust people easily. For such a long time, no one knew about this eating disorder-not even my closest friends. I starting seeing a therapist that was trained to counsel people with ED and she encouraged me to find one friend that I thought might be supportive in my recovery. My friend does not have an eating disorder but she was willing to just listen to me vent, freak out, and text me through a meal when I just really didn’t want to eat. That kind of support really helps cause yes- it is hard.

    I did/still do write a lot as well. It just helps get whatever is going on inside out of me in a not so destructive way. You can do this. Be strong!

  20. Jen

    thanks neko and yes i have a couple close very suportive friends that know about it and that i can vent to. youre right it definitely helps! but i think i am also going to see a therapist soon like you so hopefully that will help get me through this even more.

  21. Kate

    hey guys, it’s been awhile but I’m not doing so good.
    For awhile I thought i was doing good and that I was finally getting control of my anorexia but at this moment, I’m not so sure. For the longest time, I was beginning to thnk that I was over my fear of “forbidden” foods. But tonight, I went on what felt like a binge so I’m sure it was. I ate so many “forbidden” foods and I’m not sure why and now I’m scared. I am so scared that I’m going to gain a bunch of weight from it and I’ll feel worse about myself.
    I need someone to talk to.. there’s no one where I live that understands what I am going through and so I keep all my feelings to myself. I don’t know why I continued to eat the food even after I was full. Like what was I trying to prove and to who??? It was like I was telling myself HA! See there I can eat that and you can’t stop me. But really that is so pathetic! Help me guys… I don’t know what to do or think. 🙁 I want to restrict so badly and I had even thought about purging… :S

  22. Neko

    Hey Kate,
    I have eaten past the “full” point…some of the time it was because I had to follow a meal plan. Even though it was a plan made by a professional- I still felt like I had eaten out of control. The nutritionist I was seeing once told me, “ what a person struggling with anorexia considers a binge is hardly a binge by conventional standards”. Grrrrr! I hated that meal plan business it but it got me back eating more/regularly. After I stopped seeing a nutritionist, I’ve eaten a few things to prove to myself that I could do it…It was also a way to slap the ED in the face and say “ha!”. But sometimes that sinking feeling of fear and guilt still set in…and it’s hard to fight it and I still struggle with restriction and/or purging, particularly when I’m really stressed about work and school. When I want to vent, I usually write or pray or draw about it because I still have a hard time talking to other people about everything (There’s just a few people in my life who know the eating disorder).
    Please don’t start purging especially by throwing up. I know it’s tempting but it’s not pleasant and the effects hard on your body (which I am sure you’ve read or had someone tell you already). My teeth got very sensitive after I started doing this and may have contributed to frequent stomach aches/acid reflux. The doctor told me about the acid reflux-I can’t say it was caused solely from purging but I’m sure purging didn’t help the situation.
    Perhaps one day we will personally know and embrace a new and hopefully healthier sense of “normal”. Though the battle rages on, Stay strong<3

  23. Becky

    Hey girls..well i havent been here in so long. Lets see i left off ok but not great..things got better for a short while i re gained 8 lbs and was at 97 which was a very big deal for me the weight distribution sucked soo bad though my stomach felt like it was sucking it all up (the fat) that only lasted a while before i knew it i went from excercising just a bit more then going off the meal plan my doc gave me to now back were i was..i DONT want to be this way its not something i can switch on or off and thats what my family &frnds think that im choosing it but im not..which is why those ” tips & tricks” sites are a huge crock of crap..if you have tje choice &are able to make that decision for urself dont go with ana. Its taken yrs of my life & @ 20 its left me feeling much older..physically and emotionally. Im at 85 lbs right now. Not the lowest ive been but def unhealthy i know that. Basically i came here to let out some feelings ive been holding in..ive been feeling like so ive lost control of myself like im living in a body that isnt mine and i just go thru the motions cuz i havd to..idk if this makes any sense to yall..i feel like my normal mood is sad and just dead pretty much im getting very used to that &its not good. I miss ballet so much..all i do is work but tthat keeps me busy enough i have some awesome frnds &fam but im not one to open up to ne one about my feelings especially when i know they wont understand. I keep all my feelings bottled up whivh makes it terrified to reach 100 lbs but i know i need to..soon too. I cant even think aboyt it w out it giving me crzy anxiety. Past couple months i just feel very alone life is more of a chore than a gift. Its just not fun. Soo now im just rambling..i hope if yall read this you will give me some feed back on some of those deep feelings yall keep down ..and just how everyone is doing. Also meal plans? Id like to see what some of yalls are. And i have one big question im actually writting a paper on this topic sorta ok so are you a stress eater or starver OR binge&purger..meaning when you get into an argument w someone or bad day @ wrk/school .or just stressed do you just binge..or do you turn thay to your ed and just restrict/starve.OR do you b&p? ….okay i feel better getting all this of my sorry sio long and misspelled. Im writting from my phone sooo yeaaaa anyway thanks 4reading my nonsense talk…stay strong beauties xoxoxo

  24. Neko

    “You know we come back cause we never leave
    In your mind somewhere we sleep.”
    Cause monsters don’t live under my bed
    They rage on in my head.

    These lines are as true as the day I put pen to paper eight years ago-


    Good blog but a quick question. How old is this data?

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