recovering from anorexia: 10 activities

what do people do when they start on their recovery from anorexia? here is a list of ten things that those who deal with this eating disorder mention most frequently. these are activities that they themselves decide on. that’s important to keep in mind. if i were to say to one of my clients, “jo, why don’t you cook a nice meal for anne and bob? you could prepare something you like and then have some yourself!”, it would quite possibly backfire. however, i’m happy when a client comes in and tells the story of doing some of these things.

(if you’d like a bit of support with any of this, drop me a line).

1. positive eating, e.g.
meeting up with a friend for lunch, even though it’s scary to eat in public
eating a healthy breakfast (not just a 1/2 cup of dry cereal)
cooking for friends – and participating in the meal afterwards

2. engaging in healthy relationships, e.g.
choosing to go to a movie with a friend rather than staying home surfing the internet
setting boundaries with a sibling
discussing the relationship with a partner or girl/boyfriend

3. walking away from unhealthy eating behaviours, e.g.
no purging
no declining to eat in public
talking to a friend about something that makes you angry rather than starving over it

4. gentle exercise and resting, e.g.
taking a half-hour walk rather than going for a one-hour run
skipping gym for a day
resting when tired, rather than drinking black coffee

5. positive self-talk, e.g.
“i am someone, and beautiful to boost!”
“the world is not a fearful place”
“it’s no big deal. each day is just a chance to try out new things.”

6. honesty, e.g.
not saying “fine!” with a fake smile every time someone asks “how are you”
being totally honest about food with at least one person
not bottling up feelings of fear and ambivalence when having sex

7. doing nice things for yourself, e.g.
getting a long overdue haircut
going shopping for “normal” clothes (not clothes that will hide the body)
just spending a nice day – maybe reading, going to a movie, sleeping in

8. spending quiet time with your feelings, e.g.
creative visualization

9. professional help, e.g.
seeing a psychotherapist
attending group
making that long overdue appointment with the nutritionist

10. positive body image, e.g.
going to the beach in a bathing suit
spending time in front of the mirror
having sex in broad daylight

isabella mori
counselling in vancouver

235 thoughts on “recovering from anorexia: 10 activities

  1. losing control

    Hi, i have just started my recovery (hopefully) and i have no idea how to deal with losing all control over every aspect of my life. i have had an eating disorder for 6 yrs, what seems like my whole life and to just now tell people, especially family is one of the hardest things. the extreme guilt and shame is overwhelming. i wish i never did this to myself, the repercussions are enormous. but in saying that – i am here writing to you, so that is a good sign (i’m telling myself ) :). writing is therapeutic so this is the one thing over all that i recommend to other sufferers, it brings me some control back and gives me some focus as to what i’m REALLY thinking.

  2. You can do it

    I came across this website on the off chance, but after reading all of these people messages I really wanted to enter something myself… Well I dont know how I developed my Anorexia… But it did become very bad… I went down to a weight where I was unable to think, unable to be happy… I would snap at my mm and my boyfriend constantly (how they put up with me I will never know), I was ever so tired and lathargic and couldn’t move very much , but at night I coulnt sleep, I was a talking skeleton and in bed my bones dug in to the mattress and eventually I began getting cuts and bleeds from where my bones were rubbing on the mattress…

    I started taking laxitives every day and this became a problem when I wasnt near a toilet… needless to say, it was very embarrasing.. I constantly thought of food, ate about 300 calories a day, exercised for atleast an hour a day (and if I had eaten “a bit too much” the previous day I would take the day off work sick, just to exercise as much as I could). I lost contact with all my friends, as I couldn’t be around people, I didn’t have space for socialising with everyone… if I did, I wouldnt be focused and wouldnt have time to exercise! I had fits, palpatations, headaches, bruising… in the summer i was cold and wore a jacket and scarf, while everyone else were in tshirts and bikinis… Id panic when i knew food was near me… id start breathing quickly and stuttering as i refused that one small chocolate… (the chocolate i believed would cause me great harm!)

    I went to the doctors one day about 3 years ago, where she asked me many question and said I was going to be refered to an eating clinic…

    Then the day came where I was refered to the clinic… I went along and was petrified (after cancelling the appointment 3 times i finally went)… She asked me question upon question, weighed me, looked back on my history… and i cried… The thing that made me realsie what i had done to my body, She said to me, if i loose anymore weight i will be hospitalised, and will probably die… i had got that bad… I went very regulary to see her, and she was wonderful… we went over many things, my mum and i realised that we were both keeping things from the past and it made it easier for us to let go… I was gaining weight at a good rate… having 3 meals and 3 snacks… and then i decided i was going to leave the clinic, although i hadnt reached my goal, i thought i was strong and wuold do it all on my own!

    Well after leaving the clinic i went down hill, and began loosing alot of weight again… clothes began to become loose again! no energy, moody, not being able to sleep… the LOT!!! and then i looked in the mirror one day, and i saw the girl 3 years prior… The anorexic me had come back again, and was taking control…i decided i cant let it…

    So now i am trying again! I havent reched 8 stone yet (weighed myself today and i am 7st 12) but my aim is to get there… sometimes i feel like i am going to burst and panic… OMG i am fat, i look ugly, but if i am honest the memory of what i used to be before i was gripped by anorexia, that is an attractive image, the one most recently, well it just isnt..

    I have an amazing support network, since going to the clinic, both my mum and boyfriend have a major understanding of the illness, and encourage me, and remind me “perhapsit is time you ate something”…

    All i can say, i know i am not there yet, i have a long way to go, and i dont honestly think anyone with anorexia will ever get rid of it… it is apart of you that you have to deal with… just like having a certain colour eyes, it is a part of you… but being strong means you can beat it and control it… Everyone is worth more that this… it does destroy your life if it goes too far!!! So be strong… YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE LIFE ANOREXIA IS WILLING TO GIVE!!! I have realised that there is more to life, and although i have my bad days and good days (no matter who you are wether suffering from a disorder or not you will have them), i prefer how i feel now i see my friends, my family is happy, me and my boyfriend can go do things on the spur of the moment and not think i am too weak or it is too cold… I am sorry i have babbled i just wanted to write my story and i really hope this helps others… JUST keep going, and my best advise is talk to some in the first instance… An eating disorder is a very lonely place… if you dont ask for help, you may be lonely for a long time…
    PLease take care of yourselfs x

  3. aliyah

    hi there
    thanks for sharing your story, you clearly are very strong and i admire you.
    i too used to abuse laxatives and exercise lobsessively. i decided to get help, i relapsed got ill again, and now finalllly im far in recovery, at an ideal weight.
    remember, ur regainin back weight ur not fat. ur body has a weight it works best at, so dont deprive urself.
    hope u have many good days to come, stay strong and never ever ever give up

  4. Clemmie

    Hi, my names clemmie and I have had anorexia for 6 years. I have been in hopsital twice and the second time after treatment i thought i was better but i wasnt. In the last 2 months I have lost 1 stone in weight and have gone from 8st to 6st 12. My main problem is that i gain weight so so quickly. I know that i must put on weight because i want to get better but the problem is is when i get to a healthy weight i continue to put on weight and then i panic and restrict food again. All i want is to be a healthy weight and not keep putting on weight. Will this ever happen?? I juust want to break this vicous cycle but i am worried that in 6 years I have done irreversable damage to my metabolism and have slowed it down so much that for the rest of my life i am going to have to watch what I eat. It’s such a horrible feeling because i want to be free of this horrible disease and get on with my life but i jsut cant because when i keep putting on weight so easily i fear that i will carry on putting on weight until i am overweight. Please help

  5. You can do it

    Hello Clemmie,
    I have just read your blog, and yes at first your weight may shoot up but that is because your body has been starved of food for so long that when it starts being fed again, and it grabs on to what ever you give it because it thinks, when am i going to get the next bit off food, i better store as much as i cn in cas ei get starved again. You metabolism will get faster again, and you may otice that you are loosing weight and at that point you will have to eat a slight bit more to keep the weight on… I guess yo know that you will feel bloated as you said you gained the weight and now have lost it… but you need to keep going, Anna will be telling you are fat… but i am sure you are not… I am currently recovering and have made a huge leap to a healthy me… and it is worth it… You just have to believe in yourself… You said it yourself you dont want to be like this stuck with this vicious disease… So believe me when i tell you, you need the food… it is how your body works, and how it keeps going… How tall are you?
    I dont think that you will ever be over weight… i think you will always be aware of your weight, but aslong as you can control that and keep it at a ealthy weight, if you can gain the weight to a healthy weight you will be able to maintain it…

  6. shannon

    hello my name is shannon.
    i dont think im anorexic i was 9stone 7 alot of people are worried about me and saying ive lost to much weight that i looked beter what i used to be its only been 4 months and ive droped down to 7stone 4. i havnt reali ate but i really need help i say to myself that im going to start eating in the morning but then when morning comes i weigh myself and look in the mirror and it puts me complity of.

    i am always cold dizzy moody never want to go out because i want to excercise but havnt got the energy to. my period has kind of stoped and my hair has got thiner.
    i just want to be normal again like my friends i watch them eat chippy and all and i say why cant i be like that.
    at christmas and boxing day i didnt want my mum and dad finding out i wasnt eating so i ate and felt so guilty so i went and made myself sick.
    i want to eat normal but ino i cant. i look up and all to see about my metabolism and it says that if i eat normaly il put on an awhful amount of weight. i am so scared of putting on alot of weight and getting strech marks plz do you have any way of helping me..
    shannon x

  7. aliyah

    shannon- i understand ur fears i have been there myself, the fear of gaining weight is horrible. but ive been thru it the REgaining weight, and so has many people on the site and they will all tell u the same.
    regaining weight by eating more food will not make u gain loads of weight relalyfast. U need 500 cals every day extra for a week to gain one pound! u need to speed up urmetabolism, and the ONLY way to do it is eat regularly, even if its small meals, because it will help weigh regain to be slow and steady.
    u shud make up a little meal plan, like write breakfast and tick it once uve ate it, and after a while ull get into a routine of eating.

    dont throw up and dont take laxatives, they will seriously harm ur body. theres a woman on this site whose now suffering severe liver damage and needs a transplant because of this.

    u may think ur not anorexic, but u have all the disordered thoughts and fears and ur weight sounds very low so dont harm urself anymore. u can get better now and live ur life.

    that site mite help good luck x

  8. shannon

    thank you aliyah..
    i do be really hungry and have alot of cravings for things to eat like chips chocolate and crips all that fatty stuff but i feel like if i eat one small chocolate sweet that i put on weight i dont want to eat them because if i do i think once i eat them i weigh myself and il have put on an extra 4 pounds its so scary.
    i have a plan made out for today but im forcing myself not to eat. but if i count the calories up its only adds up to 800 calories i really need help.
    i dont want to eat becaue im eating on my own so im skipping my meal what shall i do and if i do eat any thing at all i just want to go and excersise incase i get fat but dont have the energy to if i dont excerise will i put on more..
    how long does it take your metabolism to go back to normall and when it does would i have put on more weight than when i started because everything i read its like dont eat alot when recovering annorexic it puts so much weight on you so fast.

    i just need somthing to push me to get better..
    but im so so so scareddd.
    i want to stay like this but i used to love food and play football and all i used to be happy but its just got me so down.

    sorry for being so annoying and asking you things but im new to this and just want somone to help me without going to a pro..

    shannon x

  9. shannon

    and i for got to say
    i have a friend and she knows that i starve myself and she asked me will you please eat. and i said yea i will when i get home i did but then i made myself sick. i have said to her that i am eating like a horse but im really not and im lying to her about what i eat..
    the only thing i would eat with out getting sick is a half a slice of toast or a wee small blow of conflakes what shall i do about that..

  10. shannon

    and she thinks.
    you just eat its so easy but she doesnt no whats going throught my head its so confussing
    and my mum and dad said that too

  11. aliyah

    shannon- i knowww how u feeel. i had the samre thoughts, u have to challenge them! u have to say ok i think this wee sweet is gna make me fat, lets test this theory ( which is false).
    Ur metabolism will take a good few weeks, to get back to normal, but it depends on how u eat and how long this has gone on for.
    Start small, 3 small meals a day, try to eat as many calories as possible. 800 cals is nothing, but if its more than what ur having now, start at that and slowly build up.

    People dont understand whats going on in ur mind i know , its best to ignore these comments to some extent and focus on urself and recovery.
    is there anyone u cud eat with ? eating alone is hard and its too easy to throw food away.
    Also purging is going to slow ur metabolism, i also used to have bulimia where i threw up and took laxatives, and my metabolism slowed right down, its awful. dont do it, u will make recovery so much harder.

    u made a plan thats a gd step, now stick at it. have some motivation, why do u want to get better? what does urt future hold , what do u want it to hold? what foods do u want to be able to eat? how do u want to look?

    lets face it, looking like a skelton is not nice, and neither is being overweight. u want a happy medium, and that is what u shud aim for, and u know the only way is thru a balanced diet. But trust me inr ecovery u have to eat ALOT of food, because the body needs the food to repair all the damage.

    gooood luck, stay strong and never give in . eat well. xx

  12. aliyah

    also i dont want to give u too much stuff to take in, but you are not gaining any weight, ur just REgaining back the weight u lost . Your mind is starved of nutrients, and that is why u have the disordered thoughts, when u start to eat, its hard but after a while the thoughts will go away.

    i have been thru it all, and i know people from the site also, and its do able 🙂 be positive. xx

  13. shannon

    Thank you very much
    i want to go eat a chippy tomarrow but i no when tomarrow comes i wont want it and if i do eat it il just fall back again in a day or to i need to have will power but im not good at that.
    id love to just start of eating nice big healthy meals but it not going to that easy since you did say that i have to start of wit small meals..

    i just feel so miserble not thinking right you have helped alot now but in a few days ana will get on top of me again..
    shannon xx

  14. aliyah

    shannon- ur welcome, and i know how u feel. some days are better than others. If u feel like a chippy go for it, u dont have to have it all, have a little, just treat urself to the taste. u deserve it.

    There are so many risks, each time u get ana thoughts think of these risks.
    You will get better, if u want to, and i can see that u do, u will do it. it can be a long slippy road , with lots of bumps along the way, but u will get there.

    is there anyone u cud tell at all? doctor? parents?

  15. shannon

    but ino that i will want to eat it all because it will be so tasty and havnt had something like it in ages.
    and that will get to me i shouldnt have started a stupid diet it not worth it because i cant get out of it.
    i dont want to talk to anyone im not good at talking to someone because i dont tell them i just say im ok.
    the only person i will talk to is my best friend but it will be hard because she might not understand what im going through and all she would be able to do and say is EAT
    but it not that easy..

    i hope i do get trough it because im sick of being cold insolated, my hair falling out, being dizzy never having enough energy to go out and not being in any happy moods..

    i am glad i found this site and that im talking to someone that went through it all before it kind of helps but its not enough..

  16. shannon

    and i need to say i cant stop everything i go to eat i count the calories and then if there 100 i think thats too much so i dont eat it

  17. aliyah

    yeah sumtimes its best to eat the things that dont have calories on it.
    all the horrible effects u just decsribed the feeling cold the hair falling out, it will get worse. dont let it.
    well uno if u get a chippy and u really like the taste then eat it all! one chippy isnt gna make any difference. or if that really scares u take out a portion that ur gna eat and just have that put the rest away or give it to someone else.
    the urges to reduce food intake and eat less are going to be there for a long time, and u have to challenge it one at a time.

    all the best, stay strong, and try to treat food as ur medicine. if u dont make eat, itll get worse and ull end up in hospital on a drip.


  18. shannon

    okay thank you very much you have been alot of help and thanks for reading and writing back
    i will try the things you said.. xx

  19. Danielle

    do you want to hear the real deal? they send you to a place and make you eat 3500 cal a day. but its its all in low cal cal food. You know so the bulimics don’t freak out. So everything you eat has to to be lo cal. So you try to gain fifty pounds on dry pasta and bagels.

  20. shannon

    i starting eating meals and i eat chocolate and all but in 3 days ive put on 3 pounds and its starting to get really hard i am so scared i just want it all to go away. can you tell me something to do to stop this because im am getting the thoughts in my head that im going to stop eating and i will stop
    shannon xx

  21. Cara

    Today I got told that I have osteroporsis (or however its spelt) in my spine. My blood pressure’s very low, my kidneys are in trouble and I’m having heart palpatations. I recently lost my boyfriend of 3 and a half years becuase he couldn’t cope/understand why I wanted to starve myself. Anorexia got hold of me soooo tightly. I just wanted to be thin, even though I was already ‘normal’ size 8, I wanted to be smaller, I’d be happier if I was thinner, more attractive – this is so FALSE!!
    I’m at my lowest wieght of 7 stone at 5″6 I look terrible, my skins awful my family are really worried about me and I have lost my boyfriend, who I loved very much.
    Being skinny really isn’t all that.
    Now i’m ‘recovering’ everday I make the effort to eat more and do less. seriously, I don’t want to die yet and thats what happens with anorexia – I could actually die! I cant believe I’ve got myself into such a state. Now I need to get out of it and turn my life around. I need an eating plan and suppliments and a new way of thinking. Any Ideas?

  22. aliyah

    Cara- well done for chosing the road to recovery. Its the best thign u will ever do . Its going to be a hard long journey with lots of mixed emotions but u can do it!
    You have to remind urself that u are REgaining weight, and each time u take a bite u are gaining back ur older life, a life which is not obsessed with food and eating.

    Ideas for food, is to eat small meals regularly, this will help speed upo ur metabolism. Eat a variety of foods, and try to eat foods u enjoy . Never chose the low fat calorie free stuff, and if u can drink an energy drink, or milkshakes with lots of calories every nite.
    It takes 500 cals a day on top of what u normally eat for a week just to gain one pound. So trust me when i say u wont get fat, u wont. Ur body has a ntural set point it works best at, so let ur body get to that stage. Its for ur best.
    My gran has osteroporsis, and its horrible, dont let anything else happen to you now. Its not worth it trust me.
    You mite find the link below helpful, its my stages of recovery, and some may relate to you. I had anorexia for 6 years, and i got over it, you can to 🙂 Im not fat and im happy, i can eat food enjoy it, and i dont get negative obsessive thoughts. They go away as u challenge urself, and realise for urself that they are all false thoughts.


  23. jordy

    I suffered from anorexia from 2004 to 2009. I just started to really recover in December, and I’m doing much better now. To complement what aliyah said towards cara’s comment, I couldn’t agree more. I know how hard it is to deal with obsessive thoughts every day…. It consumed my life from when I was 12 until I turned 18. While I’m only a month into recovery, please believe me when I say that you can recover cara. I was terrified that I would never be happy, whether I ate or not, but after starting to eat, everything has changed. I’m genuinely happy for the first time in years, and I’m at peace with myself. I no longer have obsessive arguments in my head over whether I ate too many calories, or didn’t work out enough. I just eat when I’m hungry and work out to be healthy. (I know, I know, much easier said than done…but once you get the hang of it, it gradually becomes second nature.) It’s such a relief not having to worry about food, and to just be able to enjoy it. I was really surprised by how much free time I had left in my day…I never realized how much time I spent researching and obsessing over food and calories. I’m not going to lie, I do have hard days, but they are becoming much further apart. Sometimes when I put on clothes or stand in front of a mirror, I have a hard time accepting the way I look (which, according to doctors, charts, and whatnot, I’m at a healthy weight), but it’s getting easier to cope with. I try to find ways to feel happy and satisfied with my life that doesn’t have to do with the way I look. So far, it’s working. Honestly, I wish you the best of luck with a successful recovery. Take your time, and try not to worry about burdening others. I never in a million years thought I would be able to overcome this, but I did. I hope you can, too.

  24. Cara

    Aliyah and Jordy, Thanku so much for your lovely positive comments 🙂 It is so nice to get it off my chest (so to speak) to people who understand the hell that is Anorexia. I have been reading lots and have a better understanding of how/why its developed and I kinda feel a bit ‘normal’ knowing I’m not the only one with this awful illness. I have felt so alone for years, but now I’m going to turn my life around with a little help from friends and family. Thankyou again. Much love and peace to you both xox

  25. jordy

    You’re very welcome…I hope you write again if you ever need more support. It can feel very lonely and isolated having anorexia, but you’re far from alone. Sometimes I even have a hard time convincing myself that it’s a real disease and that I’m not just inflicting it on myself. I try to remind myself that it is hellish and sad and lonely, and that no one would ever choose that. I’m glad you’re getting help from friends and family. I’ve tried to steer clear of anyone who invalidates anorexia as an illness, and it has helped a lot. Just a bit of advice… Hope it helps 🙂
    And again, good luck

  26. El

    I’m 15 yrs old, 5”5 and currently weigh 96 lbs., I’m recovering from anorexia but I’m still not sure I want to recover. I’ve been hospitalized twice already this year and had an eating disorder in 8th grade too. I feel like I don’t need to gain anymore weight even though everyone else thinks I really need too. I feel sooooo huge, and disgusting. My lowest weight was 89 lbs. and that compared to now makes me feel like I’m a faliure. I’m afraid of relapsing again, but I’m evern more afraid of getting fat. What should I do?

  27. jordy

    Hey El,
    I can completely relate to you. My lowest weight in the eighth grade was around yours, and I started panicking when I gained weight. It’s okay. Statistically speaking, there’s no possible way for you to be overweight. You’re not even close. For me, it took a long time to realize that I’m happiest when I’m healthy. It took a long time for me to want to get better, and to take the chance to see what happened by increasing my food intake. Someone told me to just try, and if I didn’t feel better, if I wasn’t comfortable, I could stop eating and go back to the way things were. Honestly, I wasn’t productive, and my life was going nowhere very fast. I didn’t like being miserable and tired and cold all the time. When I realized I didn’t like living that way, which was only about a month ago, I started eating. It still scares me, but I’m happy. Yesterday, I was smiling and giggly for no good reason, and I loved it. Whenever I start to freak out about eating now, I try to remember instances in which I was happy and healthy, and how depressed I was when I was unhealthy. It’s a little piece of what works for me…I hope it helps you, too, even just a little bit. Stay strong, and I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find happiness and health.

  28. El

    Thank you very much for replying back to me, Jordy, It makes me feel good to know that someone out there understands how I feel. Sometimes it feels like its me against the world and I’m always fighting back. I honestly don’t think I need to gain more weight, I’m absolutely terrfied that THEY (my doctors and therapists) want me to get up to 115 lbs. That’s absoutely crazy and I know I can’t do it. I won’t. I’m trying to get better but I think its mostly because everyone else is forcing me to. It’s not like I can go back to starving myself with so many people watching me all the time. I just feel so hopeless somtimes. It’s great that I’m not so tired or cold all the time but it’s also scary to actually have my appetite back. I feel guilty if my stomach growls, I feel so angry at myself. I just cant seem to see that way othes see me. What can I do?
    .-= El´s last blog ..a song for anorexia =-.

  29. Melissa

    Aliza- You deserve to get better!!!!!!!!!! you have worked so hard, so hard gighting this stupid disorder! Anorexia is talking when you think the weather is a sign, its NOT a sign. Weather is unpredictable and uncontrollable. The disorder doesn’t want to let you go, so its LYING to you. Tellling you that you don’t deserve to see a counselor and get better. It wants to stay in your head forever!!!!!!!!! Forever is a LOOOOONG time. Do you want to have anorexia forever, never get better, never knbow what happiness is???? The sound of silence in your head??? Being yourself and discovering the REAL you are the best feelings ever. Ana wants you to suffer, so it will lie to you to keep you miserable. It is your job to recognize the lying voice and tell it to SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! You want to really smile, laugh with all your heart, be with friends and not thinking of food and calories, to just be NORMAL. Thats possible, I found it after 5 years. 5 years of misery and pain and wanting to die. There were times where I held the razor in my hand juyst tracing the vain up and down my wrist wondering if life is really wortrh the PAIN of recovery. Well you know what, IT IS., There’s so much more to life, so much more. Keep pushing through these rough patches hun, life can only get more enjoyable. YOU CAN DO IT!

    El- Do ont, and I mean DO NOT focus on numbers! The numbers are scary, very high and very scary. Focus on happiness. On feeling a weight lift off your shoulders and gaining the love of life back! Do you want to only feel sadness and pain and misery? Nobody does, we all are wonderful girls who are loving, generous, intelligent, talented, and so much more. You deserve to live a life free of an eating disorder. Before the doctors say numbers ask them upfronbt not too, say you feel unprepared at this time to gear numbers but want to get better and be happy. They will listen, mine did. It’s all about YOU, recovery is all about YOU and what YOU want. If your stomach growls, try a small snack or meal. How about yogurt or cream cheese or a handful of trail mix? I say thhose because they have protein, which makes you feel less hungry for a longer period of time than water based foods, are very good for you, and do not make you feel too full or bloated just content or ok. Seriously, its soooooooo hard to eat sometimes. Emotions have tight controls over us, and so does stress. But you have to remind yourself you are HUMAN and humans need nutrients and energy in their body to live. You deserve to live, so keep on fighting for your friends, family, and most importantly yourself!

  30. Cara

    awake at 3am worrying about the yogurt i just ate.
    I have gained 3lbs everyones really happy.
    I like it when people are happy and not worried.

    I hate anorexia, I’ve had it for 10 years and only just realised in these last few months how bad it is.
    facing this demon is harder than I thought. No wonder my boyfriend had enough.

    I don’t know why I’m posting this – I’m finding it hard 2day 🙁

  31. Jessy-Australia

    Ive suffered from Anorexia for the past 12 months and have just in the last 2 weeks given up the denial and acknowledged that i have a problem that I am unable to fix myself. For 12 months i have been supplied will all kinds of support, doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, naturopaths (you name it) but the entire time i wasnt really using the support or wanting it. 2 weeks ago it felt like a switch flicked and i could see just for a brief moment what everyone else was seeing. i looked in the mirror and saw a very sick girl, it felt like i had been blind folded the entire time. Ever since my realization ive been extremely stressed, and experiencing severe anxiety/panick attacks where i get so worked up my body is covered with sweat, my heart races, my hands shake and i start hallucinating that the world is spinning and pushing down on my chest. ive started seeing a professor and a nutritionist at an eating disorder clinic in Bondi (Australia) and so far they have been amazing. I didnt know how difficult the recovery process would be and im feeling like im not strong enough to beat it. like alot of others in this thread ive started ‘pretend bingeing’ late at night when everyone is in bed. I get together a whole range of really unhealthy foods, cake, chocolate, cereal etc and i pretend to binge – meaning i fill my mouth with the foods and chew but spit it out before i swallow. this usually lasts all night, ill pack all of the chewed foods up at about 4am, purge the soft drink i have drunk because i feel that even though i didnt swallow the food some may have gotten down to my stomach. This is a new process for me, its costing a lot, sometimes i even steal my parents card to buy the food and i hide bags and bags of chewed food in my room until i can throw them out without my parents noticing. I cant eat during the day, i dont ever feel hungry and ideas of eating during the day leave me borderline suicidal. I would really love any tips anyone has for getting out of this late night binge/purge routine if they have gone through something similar because right now the chance to binge at night seems to be all i look forward to. i stop myself from eating during the day because i want to save myself for my night time binge.

    Another thing im worried about is that ever since i acknowledged my problem and got the motivation to get the help i feel as though the anorexic inside of me is fighting back. almost like the more i try to pull away the more it digs its heels in. i can see that im making more rules around eating, stricter rules, more severe consequences for slip ups and even some of my old rules and habits are starting to creep back into my mind. things like laxative use, nurofen plus (i took about 16 capsules everyday for almost 8 months because they would suppress my appetite and blur my mind up so that i was able to go out in public and face people. also so i could enjoy a couple of hours of stillness in my head – im sure everyone here knows that being anorexic means having your brain scream at you ever second of every day, even in your dreams)

    Im not really sure what questions to ask i just know that im feeling really lost at the moment. this battle is much harder than i had anticipated and i truly feel that i cant do it. i dont feel strong enough. it feels like all ive had for the last 12 months is this eating disorder, its consumed me and if someone takes it away im afraid ill have nothing.

    If anyone has any stories of their own that they can offer or if anyone has experienced something similar id love your input. i need to know that im not the only one, that im not just some crazy person and that like other before me, i will win this never ending battle.

    Thankyou so much for this thread of comments, it really does offer so much to people who really need and deserve this kind of support.


  32. Nature

    Hey Jessy,

    It’s been a long while since I checked back on this page, but I just want to give you a big hug and let you know that you are not alone!!!

    Lots of girls (and guys although we don’t see too many pop on by here) have gone through what you have. We have been at the same pages where you have been. We’re all like a big family here, and you are VERY welcome to go check the pages on the top, Anorexia Talk (whether it be one, two, or three) group to go communicate with lots of other girls there who have been through what you have been through.

    I have work soon so I cannot write a long response, but I hope you do check the other pages out! The people there are really amazing, :D.

  33. Beth

    Congrats to all who are considering or in the midst of recovery–you have my sincere respect and best wishes, because this is one of the hardest things any of us will overcome.
    I am in recovery from a relapse, and one thing that I have done is limit my time with people who trigger my eating disorder behaviors. I had a friend who did not understand the serious of the disease, and saw behavior such as forcing yourself to throw up after drinking alcohol as normal. I continually found that after spending time with him, I was returning to my ED behaviors. So I decided to spend less time with him. Every time I sit down to eat, I picture my healthiest friends and family members in my mind, and think about how I want to follow their example. If I slip up, I always try to imagine how they would feel if they knew what I was doing to myself. It doesn’t always work completely, but it does help keep me on track.

  34. Chris

    Hi my name is Chris and I am 21 years old and I have battled anorexia since I was 11 years old. One of the biggest problems was that I developed at the age of 9, so I was bigger and gaining weight in different places then all my friends. I’m only 5 foot 2, been that height for what feels like forever, anyways I will try to make this short. when I was little my mom used to say stuff like “I can hear you chew from across the table”. So that made me self continuous about eating in public, being “larger” then my friends in high school at a weight of 150 lbs and I used to work out every single night, skip breakfast and lunch, I would eat dinner because I didn’t want my family to know. I discovered that the only way for me to lose weight was to just not eat and it worked I felt great! Fortunately I had great friends that noticed my significant weight loss and confronted me about my problem (My family didn’t really notice…till now how thin I was) My problem right now is that my BF knows about my problem and is amazingly supportive and I have gained so much weight over the past four years and I’m so scared about re-lapsing and yet at the same time I welcome it because all I hear from my mom is how big I am and why don’t you just do what you did in High school when you were so thin and I want to tell her what it is but I’m so scared of her reaction. I’m 180 lbs now I work out, I eat right but I can not get rid of the weight. I really just need someone who understands what I’m going through!

  35. csmilie123

    I was anorectic for 25 years but have now been normal weight for 10 years. (I am 50 years old now and it has been a long struggle). What I wast to say was it took quite some time a good few years in fact for the food obsession to pass even though I was normal weight but very slowly it does improve and it gets easier as time goes on so don’t give up because my life now is so much better.

  36. aliyah

    chris- hi , im aliyah. congrats on recovery and getting to a healthy weight . Im sure along the way you have realised that food isnt needed to alleviate stress and feelings and negativity because controlling food doesnt solve anything. anytime u are in stressfilled situations , feeling like you might trigger count to ten and try to alleviate it in other ways- writing, phoninh ur bf of whatever.
    restricting food is only going to make u feel worse, and im at a healthy weight and im happy, but i know how u feel and it can be scary.
    just stay strong, and all will be well, you have come really well. dont give into the voice!

  37. Ebony

    im 16 years old and have recently over the past year lost 17 kilos. I walk 3 times a week for an hour and eat extremely healthy, i was always the bigger built girl before this ive gone from 67kg to now 50kg, i am proud that ive been able to do it but now i am obsessed with food and its taking over my social life, i wish i never lost weight in the first place sometimes just so i could be happy and eat whatever i wannt whenever i want.I am becoming anorexic obsessed with food always freaking out after i eat, like i binge out on so many sultanas is that bad ? i want to put a little bit of weight on but im scared of weight gain and that if i start eating more the weight gain wont stop ? can i eat normal foods like i used to or will i gain all my weight back? what do i do ?

  38. Melissa

    Hi ebony
    First of all WELCOME! I am so glad you found this site before your health really suffers. Anorexia usually does start off as a diet, a person loses weight and feels great so they keep onloosing weight hoping to feel even better. But then the obsession starts, food and weight and calories and exercise dominate your thoughts, is that where you are now?
    It sounds like a nutrition plan would be really helpful for you. You would know how much calories you need and what foods are the best choice to meet your specific needs. If you treat yourself with the foods you enjoy, but portion control them or only have them once a week, you will not gain weight.
    From your post you sound very healthy, and not too far into anorexia yet. Talk to a doctor, so you can find out your body’s healthy or ideal weight range. That might help you feel more at ease. Remember you are not overweight and did the right thing by coming to this site and seeking hlep now before the anorexic thoughts consume your life.
    Good luck and remember everyone on this site will be here whenever you need to vent or advice.
    PS sorry for any typos it is 1:20 am in California

  39. aliyah

    ebony- hi im aliyah, i know exactly how you feel, i have the exaxt same thoughts as you when i was at that stage. I had anorexia and bulimia for years and recovery is honestly the best path, your regaining back your life and not putting urself at risk!
    you need to take it one step at a time, i dont know how much ur eating, but start to eat a bit more every 4 hours at least, by not eating u slow down urmetabolism. And there is going to be a lot of resistance, and negative feelinsg but u need to push past it, and not let it control u . Also your only REgaining back weight u lost, and you wont get fat because ur body has a set point which it works best at, and you need to let ur body get there.
    Also the less u eat, the more obsessive u become, because a starved mind obsesses, its a biological fact, so belive it or not the more u eat the better and in time the negative thoughts will start to go away.
    Challenge ur thoughts, and if u have someone u can tell and talk to i would.
    wud u go to a doctor?

    make a little meal plan, of breakfast, lunch and dinner and two snacks and tick it off each day , r egular eating is really important.
    good luck x

  40. Ebony

    these comments really help guys 🙂
    the thoughts of food are really ruining me though im not hungry but the thoughts just amke me want to eat, its just been easter and ive eaten so badly like pigged out on chocolate and usually i just eat healthy food, is this going to make me put on weight ? because for the last week ive pigged out on so much chocolate and big meals ? i want to gain a little bit of weight but what do i do once ive reached the weight i want to be ? and how much junk food can you eat with getting fat ?
    im just scared im going to gain every bit of weight i lost in the first place 🙁

  41. Cheryl

    hi everyone
    im only 14 and im not anorexic and have never had an eating disorder but lately ive been obsessing about my body a lot and i really dont want to become anorexic. I know im perfectly healthy and fit and im in the healthy weight range for my height and age, but i really dont want to develop an eating disorder because i know it will ruin my life. Im not fat, and im not even chubby, and i feel like im pretty and have great friends and family, and im doing good in school. I dont want to lose any weight and i dont want to get any thinner, and i dont want to get sick. I just feel like i need a place to anonomously write down how i feel, so that i wont develop an eating disorder.

  42. Sofie

    Hey all!
    I’ve been reading these comments and doing research for a while now and decided to finally ask for advice. I’m 17, have always been chubby (70-75kgs) and my weight has always cause stress for me. Though i am quite tall (174cm – about 5′ 8.5″) i have always felt pressure to lose weight. I have been suffering from depression for about 5 years (this is due to seperate issues, not stress about weight) and recently started getting help for that. My depression worsened quite significantly about half a year ago and i lost a few kilo’s and i decided to lose more weight. I lost about 1o kilo’s in two month’s through a horrible diet and nightly purges. Losing the weight felt great and i felt really in control but i decided to stop because i didn’t particularly want anyone to notice and i didn’t want to fall into an unhealthy BMI range (my current BMI is about 20). This has been almost impossible. No matter how many times i tell myself that I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT, every bite i eat seems to be a struggle. I can’t eat anything without counting the calories and hating myself for eating them. This hasn’t been great for my depression because it lowers my self-esteem significantly…
    My query is this, do i have a problem? I am well within the healthy weight range but do not have my period, am still losing weight and am now losing a significant amount of hair. I have cut down on the purging and because my parents don’t know that i am restricting my diet (i come from a typically european family where food is a MUST) i have definately been eating more than i was.
    Ebony – I can relate to your story in the way that i feel like if i start eating i’ll gain all the weight back. And the pigging out on chocolate? I did that recently… Felt pretty bad after that.
    Cheryl – I don’t have a lot of experience with eating disorders (I don’t even know if i have one) but if you’re scared of developing one then i would definately say that you’re probably thinking about food and weight in the wrong way. All i can advise you to do is to remember that you are in the healthy range and that whatever society may tell you, you’re perfectly healthy. I can also assure you that bad food habits are hard to get out of so just don’t get into the habit, enjoy food.
    Good luck to everyone struggling!

  43. Ebony

    heeey, sofie we relate totally the same, i know exactly what your going through im slowly getting better, i just need someone to talk too.
    i also cant stop bingeing, which is making me depressed, i just wanna go back to not having a care about food at all.
    if you have an email we could help eachother or talk about it if you would like.

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