Monthly Archives: April 2007

kiddie porn

what do you think when you hear the word “kiddie porn”?

you’re probably disgusted. however, you also hear the words “kiddie” (sounds a bit like “kitten”, doesn’t it?) and “porn”, which is an abbreviation of “pornography”, an abbreviation that does not only make the word sound shorter but also somehow abbreviates the whole idea. the little word “porn” has a bit of a recreational connotation. golf, tennis, porn. so somewhere lurking in the term “kiddie porn”, on a subconscious level, is a little fun recreation with something cute like a kitten. the term “kiddie porn” masks what’s really going on.

let’s try another term, then. how about: “brutal, ongoing sexual exploitation of children”?

30% of them under the age of 5.

20% under the age of 3.

20% of “kiddie porn” involves the brutal, ongoing sexual exploitation of children younger than 3 years old.

let’s just let that sink in for a moment. Continue reading

liberated children, liberated people

this morning i was looking for internet references to my favourite parenting book, liberated parents, liberated children. back when i was facilitating parents’ groups, i used it as the basis of two courses.

what struck me suddenly was that this book is about much more than “just” parenting (as if that wasn’t enough!) – it’s really a book about communication, and, ultimately, emotional health. i think i’m going to go back and read it once again, with an eye to exactly those topics.

at any rate, i found a wonderful article about the book with the somewhat ominous title, “instead of hitting.”  here are some excerpts. Continue reading

granny post number 6: patience, patience

yesterday was my daughter mindemoya’s due day, and it’s been three weeks since she’s been having on-and-off contractions.

baby, come out! we all want to meet you!

in the meantime, mindemoya’s getting bigger and bigger. how is this possible?!? she’s attached to this massive belly and all she can do is waddle. she moves from chair to chair – every single one is uncomfortable, and the sofa is so deep, she needs someone to help her out of it. one minute she wants nothing but ice water, next minute she craves a tuna melt Continue reading

blog book tour: ten zen seconds

“i am free of the past”

this is one of the “incantations” found in eric maisel’s new book, ten zen seconds. in this book, dr. maisel suggests combining incantations with breathing techniques, and in this way to find one’s center. his ideas are useful for everyone but particularly for artists – dr. maisel works predominantly with creative people, and the vast majority of examples in his book are drawn from painters, actors, writers and other cultural workers.

eric maisel and his little community have launched a blog book tour, and i’m happy to be part of it. the idea of a blog or virtual book tour is not new (i found the first reference to it in vagablogging, in 2003), and i’ve had the good fortune to participate in something similar last year, for one of jay sennett’s books.

this one here is interesting because it is a series of interviews with dr. maisel, lasting for about six weeks, one blog a day. i’ll host the tour on may 31.

on sunday, brenda johima from the beautiful comox valley, launched the tour with some interesting questions. for example, my ears pricked up when i saw her asking how maisel’s suggestions might work for people with chronic pain; as someone who has worked a lot with people with chronic pain, i was quite intrigued by that.

i also liked how they talked about helping new writers:

brenda johima: i believe that everyone has at least one book inside them, waiting to be expressed, waiting to be written, whether for publication or for personal development and creative expression. eric, you are a prolific writer, and successful author of 30 books. how might someone who wants to write and publish their first book use ten zen seconds to assist in their creative writing process?

eric maisel: there are several different ways. first, they need to really believe”not just superficially believe”that they have it in them to write a book, and using incantation 3, “i trust my resources,” can help deepen that belief and their self-confidence.

they also need to banish old, harmful messages from the past, maybe that remark made by their third grade teacher or their mother about their writing, and they can use incantation 7, “i am free of the past,” to quickly help banish thoughts of that sort as soon as they arise.

throughout the process, whether it’s the writing process or the selling process, they need to recognize not just what a challenge confronts them but that they are equal to this mighty challenge, and here incantation 10, “i am equal to this challenge,” can prove really useful.

interested in the rest of the blog tour? here is the schedule.

isabella mori
counselling in vancouver

shootings. holocaust.

today is holocaust remembrance day.

the biggest shooting in US history just happened. 33 people are dead.

my brain is trying to cope with this, to make sense of it, so i take flight into my safe cocoon, the internet. i post about it on twitter and on stumbleupon. that is safe. it’s just in some abstract place – cyberspace.

but my heart says otherwise. i hear my daughter listen to a CNN cast about the shooting. these are real voices talking. it happened in the real world.

and thus it happens in my heart, too. tears are coming. shooting, the holocaust, the holocaust, shooting.

growing up in post-WWII germany, the holocaust was one of the biggest stories in my life. my best friend’s parents had survived it, my family was touched by it in various ways. perhaps the first non-fiction book i read, at the age of 10 or so, was a story about the holocaust.

i am remembering this as i hear the cell phone recordings of the shootings. “it sounds like he’s picking them out!” says my daughter.

what world does a person live in who kills like this – like this shooter, like those who captured, tortured and killed people in the holocaust? mass murderers and serial killers are not born – they evolve. one person speaks of “horrible personal demons of rage, hatred, repression and violent fantasies“. again, these demons don’t just appear on the scene one day. demons need to be nurtured to do damage, just like in the story of the two hungry wolves. who/what nurtured them? who was not around to chase them out?

my son is here right now, my mother, and my very, very pregnant daughter. we are together. what about those other families? what about the daughter, the cousin, the friend, the brother that will never make it home again after today? what about entire families and generations that were destroyed in the holocaust and in all the other atrocities that followed and are still following?

and what am i doing right now to nurture the right wolf?

through the valley of depression

a while ago, one of our commenters referred to depression as “the big valley” and “heaven and hell.” referring to medication for depression, he also said that “there are no revealed mysteries in micrograins of medicine.” in order to be “close to free”, he “had to do it without buffers. It has been hard, but revelatory beyond description.”yes, depression is a valley, quite literally, “an area completely or mostly surrounded by higher land”, according to

i am reminded of the pioneers in the old wild west, taking long, slow treks through Continue reading

alice, my little chatbot friend

this morrning, my twitter friend geisharei sent a link to alice, a chatterbot that’s being worked on by A.L.I.C.E., the artiificial intelligence foundation. i engaged alice in this (rather bizarre) conversation. (hint: i’m Human) try it for yourself!

Human: do chatterbots get distracted?
ALICE: You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Have you tried another program?
Human: no, which one should i try?
ALICE: Perhaps you should try it. The large one, I think. Continue reading

22 ways to break out of procrastination

fed up with procrastination? have you tried these suggestions?

  1. replace, “how am i going to finish this?” with “what small step can i start on right now?”
  2. ask yourself why you delay doing what you need or want to do? is it because you feel you ‘have to’ to do it? is it because you cannot clearly see the benefits? is it because you will need to move some twigs in the nest of your comfort zone? is it because want to wait until you feel like doing it? is it because someone else would do it better?
  3. be aware that you don’t procrastinate in every area of your life. even the worst procrastinators have areas where they never procrastinate
  4. plan ahead realistically
  5. make a daily “to do” list
  6. replace deprivation with guaranteed fun
  7. don’t start over-ambitiously Continue reading