“i have the solution for depression!”
“i’ll give you the best addiction treatment ever!”
i wish i could say that. unfortunately, i can’t.
if you need help with addiction, want to discuss what you think are signs of depression, or would like some help with getting your weight under control, we will get together and talk about what will work well for you.
one size does not fit all
the desire for a cure
in thinking about this, i see two competing forces at work. one is the pressing desire for relief. anyone who has ever witnessed someone battling with the years of abject feelings of self-loathing that often come with depression, or with one attempt after the other to quit drinking will easily understand the fervent wish to be rid of this, once and for all.
the desire becomes so strong that you are, at least sometimes, willing to try anything, especially something that promises instant and final relief. in some instances, that can be a good thing, as evidenced, for example, in the success that some people find in joining 12-step programs like AA, where the premise is to hit such a bottom that you’re willing to go to any length to get better.
at other times, this yearning for a cure at any cost leads us astray. i remember one client who, before seeing me, had gotten so desperate that he had just tried a new antidepressant, despite numerous negative experiences with psychiatric medication. guess what – this one didn’t work, either, it just made him feel completely disoriented, which only served to increase his anxiety. fortunately, he had a lucid moment and, with his doctor’s help, discontinued the medication.
treating the individual
one competing force, then, is the desire for relief. the other competing force is our deep need to be seen and treated as the unique individuals that we are – physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
just as none of us look the same and we all have unique fingerprints, our biochemical, cognitive and emotional make-ups are not the same, which is why i just can’t see how a one-size-fits-all approach can be helpful. just one little example illustrates that: when i do the “yes but” game, some people feel positively challenged by the objections (“i think i’d like to go to paris” “yes but you don’t speak french” “well, then i’ll learn french!”) and others, me including, feel frustrated.
this is about you
acknowledging that is essential. in fact, in our last bloggers’ meetup, pete quily, the ADD coach, expressed that knowing what works best for us on an individual basis is the one most important thing a person will ever learn about themselves – and i think i’d agree with him on that.
do i have the solution for your depression, then? no. but we’ll sit down, look at what you’ve tried so far and what has helped and what hasn’t, look at your unique life environment, and have meaningful conversations that concentrate on you rather than a technique.
in time, you’ll create your own unique way of living a life that brings happiness and satisfaction to you and those around you. and then, the desire for relief and your own unique individuality are in sync, rather than in opposition.
counselling in vancouver