Tag Archives: anger

monthly buddhist carnival – the weird and cranky edition

angry buddha sculpture

do
not
act
from
ego.
it is a sticky little
mouse trap that
begins
with
a
wheel
running us in
circles.
get off.

(from full on arrival)

today is a weird day for me, completely, it seems, driven by ego.  today is june 15, time for a buddhist carnival, like every 15th of the month.  today, i will take you on the back alleys of the carnival – you know, the ones with the empty boxes just barely stacked behind the circus tent, with the lion tamer hissing at the trapeze artist, and the guy who runs the merry-go-round lighting up a joint for the fourth time today, and it’s only quarter past five.

let me show you a bit of the ego that drives the circus of this blog.  maybe the shock of the 100-watt light bulb will scare the ego away.

aha!  and already we have the ego talking – because that’s the language of the ego:  “scare”.  fear works, doesn’t it?  just ask any abused woman who stays with the guy who beats her day in day out.  ego knows that fear works, it keeps people trapped.  trapping – that’s another thing this ego knows about.  i’ve spent most of today trapped behind the computer, and not because someone put me in a cage, no – simply because i trapped myself there.  cranky, with only a glimpse of pleasantness here and there, i didn’t want to go anywhere and do the things that move my mood ahead.  and you know what?  there was a grim satisfaction with all of that.  check up on lexulous, go to twitter, check email, round and round and round – “a wheel running us in circles”.   “you hate this!”  “yes!”  i can feel my teeth clamped together, ready to snap at anyone.  i haven’t started dinner.  i haven’t written this blog post.  grrrrr.  “you hate this!” “yes!”  round and round.  there’s a sense of wicked pride in wasting time.  grrrr.

(there’s probably something underneath all this. )

it feels strange to spew all of this forth in a blog post; i’m not supposed to do this – what am i, a 15-year-old emo who regales her audience with every detail of her oh-so-fascinating inner life?

grrr.

but it felt like i needed to try something different.  so there you go, you heard my ego talking.  and now for some people who have way more interesting things to say, this time simply as links to interesting buddhist blog posts i came across in the last little while:

http://www.thereformedbuddhist.com/2010/04/early-western-buddhist-scholars.html

http://rogernolan.blogspot.com/2010/05/perspectives-no-self-anatta.html

http://www.prairiewindsangha.org/2009/10/five-contemplations.html

http://www.buddhistgeeks.com/2010/06/bg-176-the-place-of-the-erotic/

http://buddha-inside.blogspot.com/2010/05/answer-to-anger-and-aggression-is.html

http://www.tibetanbuddhistaltar.org/2010/06/the-original-longing/

http://buddhismnow.wordpress.com/2010/04/08/jinkji/

http://www.ovimagazine.com/art/3993

raising children, raising parents

spaced-out drug userlin over at telling it like it is has an article on 10 ways to raise children to use drugs. examples:

  • encourage insecurity by telling them to keep secrets from other family members or family secrets from others
  • avoid touching, hugging, and taking time to interact with your children.
  • disregard their physical needs.
  • ignore their worthwhile and constructive habits

it’s a perfect prescription for unhappiness, period – a child who grows up in an environment like this may not necessarily get into drugs but will be guaranteed to have other problems.

it again reminds me of gabor maté’s book, in the realm of hungry ghosts – close encounters with addiction. as i’ve mentioned before, this canadian doctor makes the case that many problems with addiction stem from not only an unhappy childhood but also from pregnancy, where the brain undergoes its formation.

as a counsellor, i have worked with people with very, very serious addiction problems. there was not a one among them who did not grow up in a difficult environment.

conversely, people who grew up in an environment that would score well according to lin’s list: they’re not always angels, they may experiment with drugs for a while, they may have a bit of a brush with the law – but they always seem to be able to right themselves after a while, they seem to have a buffer that prevents them from reaching a bottom that isn’t really a bottom, it’s a neverending pit.

having said all this, we need to look at the parents. parents do not want to be angry all the time, give in to ridiculous demands, ignore the consequences of their children’s behaviour, show low self worth and all the other things on lin’s list. parents who behave like that are clearly unhappy people who need just as much support, encouragement, education and love as their children do.

it takes a village to raise a good parent.

(image by murplej@ane)