anorexia talk – for people recovering from anorexia (2)

This is a special area for people who want to have a small, intimate place to discuss anorexia. It was born via the rather long comment section in an article here on this site about 10 activities that help with recovering from anorexia, which was then moved here. That area has become more successful more quickly than I thought. To make the comment/talk area a bit more easy to navigate, I’ve created this new area here.

A great, huge, big, humongous thank-you to all the contributors. Your fierce commitment to recovering from anorexia and your loving support for each other have truly surpassed my wildest dreams.

Please continue sharing and using this space here.

(I also know there are other sites out there who are very good at helping people with anorexia talk to each other; Somethingfishy is the best example. I certainly don’t want to take away from sites like this; they’ve proven invaluable for people who are trying to overcome anorexia.

However, for those of you who want to stay here, I’d like to provide this space where you can talk.)

Please be aware that this area is visible to anyone who cares to visit; if privacy is important to you, please use an alias.

This is a place of support and respect, a place for sharing your journey in recovering from anorexia. I will remove any comment that is disrespectful or unsupportive (and, of course, any and all spam).

So … go to it! And if you want to follow the conversation, please don’t forget to make sure you’re subscribing to the comments.

(Btw, if you’re interested to hear what has been written on this blog on anorexia so far, here is the list.)

Here are a few things you may want to start out with:

  • Do you get enough support from people around you?
  • How do you deal with the roller coaster of recovering from anorexia?
  • Have you found a food plan that works for you?
  • How do you feel with the feeling of self-loathing that sometimes come up?
  • Do you have tips for finding (and staying with) the right therapist?
  • How long have you been in recovery?
  • What do you do when you can’t stop thinking about the food/weight?

Disclaimer: This site and this page specifically are not meant to be a substitute for face-to-face professional advice. If in doubt, or in an emergency, please visit your local health professional.

(And another note: Any message on this page that seems even remotely like spam will be deleted. This is NOT a place to advertise.)


  1. Becky
    Althought it may be tough at times to recover it will be such a rewarding experience. Words cannot describe how wonderful it is to be free from the chains of an eating disorder. I have so much faith in you, you are doing excellent. keep it up!

    I understand how you feel. Binging is very difficult. It is difficult because your body and mind are telling you two different things. Your body is starving and is craving food, however, your mind does not agree. The binging will not last forever, it is a temporary part of recovery. Try to work through it and do not get frustrated with yourself. With time, things will get better, you can do this. Its okay if you cant control it, there are no rules in life that way you need to control something.. what if we all decided not to control anything at all. I know it is easier said than done, but please keep trying, you are already on your way to getting your wonderful life back!

    Have a great night everyone! good luck and keep fighting!

    Love Jan

  2. courtney- binges is part for ecovery, i dont know how long u had ana, but the longer u starved urself , or deprived urself the longer there is going to be a period of where u want to eat a lot of food, and it naturally stops when ur body trusts u. believe me, its a goofd thing and it does stop, u have to show ur body now that ur giving it nutrition and not depriving it.
    eat regualarly every 4hours, that helos speed up ur metabolism and remember recovery is about REgaining back the weight u lost x

  3. hey..i m too in the process of recovery..i feel so afraid seeing myself unable to control wad i eat..i dun like the feeling of binging too..and i dunno wad shud i do..and i keep thking of food..pls help me..

  4. Hi there;)…

    I just came across this site, and I’m so glad I found all of you! I am 30, and have struggled with anorexia since i was 12. It’s wasted a lot of years of my life: And still, I let it!

    Anyways, I started going back to my appointments, and my group, and I’m going to try to start up regular eating again… It is VERY, very hard, as all of you know, but just wanted to say that it’s nice to know that there are other people out there who ARE trying to recover… I don’t know what “recovery” is going to look like for me: I can’t really remember a time I didn’t hate myself, feel unworthy, or control my food, but I don’t want to let ED lie to me anymore… He’s already stolen away over half of my life…

    I am so proud of all of you, and I look forward to reading through all of your comments, progresses, etc… We’re not going to do it perfectly;), but i guess instead of encouraging each other on how to reinforce the eating disorder behaviors, we can fight for each other, and support each other towards recovery…

    Eating disorders are so isolating… I think it is good that we’re all reaching out to connect and heal… Anyways;), too much writing: I don’t know any of you yet, but thank you… I’ve already been encouraged to not give up today just by reading some of your posts….

    <3 Nikki

  5. Nikki- everyone will support u! ive been thru ana, and bulimia and recovered and i am happy to give some motivation!ana lies to everyone, your beautiful and u shud not hate urself.
    eat regularly, every 4 hours and try to enjoy the food.
    all the best x

  6. Thanks, Aliyah;)…

    I am looking forward to getting to know you all, and hopefully not only get support, but give support;)…

    It is so nice to hear someone say they are “recovered”… I know that doesn’t mean we’ll never struggle with it again, but it gives me hope, because sometimes, since i’ve been fighting it for so long, it feels like life could be no other way than this, you know?

    I agree: Everyone is beautiful;)… Thanks for the message… i hope you’re taking care!


  7. Nikki- you have been fighting it an awfully long time, and im sorry to hear its been with u so long. try to make it positive though, it made u who are u are, and what doesnt kill u makes u stronger. Try to make what u want from life now, and trust me when i saw there is another way. mind over body every time, if u really want to recover, and not get lured in by ana thoughts u need to say this to urself every single day. being positive and being with others, for support really helps.
    take care too x

  8. hey guy’s havent posted in a couple weeks last time i did i was doing a little better or getting there and i actually was eating for about a week after..but slowly all this anxiety started creeping back and it just slowly came back. i had went from about 86 to 92 in a week..i was freaking out seriously. i hate this so bad it’s like i pump my self up to do well and actiually do for a while only to fall again. so needless to say i fell back…i was determined to lose those extra pounds and i did plus more. im now at 84 and im sure this is my lightest. i got a call from a modeling show i signed up for couple weeks back accepting me but now i dont even want to do tthat..that blows my mind, its like we do this to be “beautiful” and “skinny” “accepted” but when we actually are we dont even have the excitement to do so. my parents have started to get more strict now..but im moving out in a couple weeks to my own place. im just scared that when that happens i’ll end up losing my mind. not like it’ll be much of a difference cause im hardly around my parents here but just knowing that someone is there and you cant do anything crazy if that makes sense. ive fallen so many times i just dont even feel theres hope for me anymore ..i feel as if though i will never get better like this is just something i will have to deal with forever. days just seem to go by so slow on top of all this i miss my best friend like crazy my ed is the reason we dont speak much anymore and this just sucks. i just needed to let all of this out..and to you girls who are on that right path keep going dont let anything tempt you to stop. i just wish wish i had some actual help but that seems impossible. i cant even remember the last time i had my period either whic is pretty scary but its like at the same time that means i know im losing weight and being unhealthy..idk my mind just seems so screwed up lately. i cant even think right….and now im just babbling.

  9. hey,becky..stay strong..keep on going no matter wad…neva give up..i really understand how u re feeling now..i m struggling very hard and i m in the same situation with u too..i m tired of this ed thingy and i dun even know wads the reason i had this..=(

  10. Hello everyone!
    Today I decided to watch a short video about upcoming spring fashions. While watching, I couldnt even focus on the beautiful clothes.. I was too busy looking at the anorexic models. It really hurt me to watch this. I just cant believe that an industry of beauty uses girls with anorexia or other eating diorders to showcase their work. I am just so sad to see all of these amazing young women dying to be thin.

    Dear Becky,
    THERE IS HOPE! you can do this girl! please please please keep fighting. The journey is so long and painful, but if you can recover you can truly gain back your wonderful life. With regards to you moving out.. you can still be successful with your eating disorder. Keep taking things one day at a time, try to make each day better. Dont stress about the weight gain in one week, its really just a symbol of how underweight your body truly is. It is exactly what your body needs. It is so important that we all stay healthy now and in the future. Really, why should we define ourselves based on a number.. we are strong, intelligent, beautiful women who dont need to let the scale control us. Sorry I dont have time to write more, Im running late, but please everyone keep going, you are all gorgeous and can get through this!

    love you all, Jan

  11. Well, this saturday I will be discharged from children’s medical center in dallas. I’m back home right now in Bossier City, Louisiana because I got yesterday, today, and tomorrow off in order to transition back to school to see how that goes. I am really happy to be ack home and that I am getting out of treatment but I still stuggle with having disordered eating and wanting to slowly eat less and less. I had my eating disorder for such a long time and used it to fill a hole in me for so long, and now I guess its really confusing to find something else that brings me just as much satisfaction, without doing something that is harmful to myself.

  12. hey everyone, reading your stories have made me feel so happy and sad at the same time, sad you all are dealing with this but happy because it seems like this is really helping alot of people. I’m 5’6 and 95 pounds right now. My mom weighs me every 2 days and iv been grounded, no going out or phone, for about 2 weeks now. They dont know im 95 pounds. Before they weigh me in the morning i wake up and drink 64-128 ounces of water, which it 4-8 pounds worth, Doing this makes me really dizzy and it makes my stomache sting. it also ruins my apetite. It all seems so counterproductive however i feel its the only way, they’re overreacting anyways because im not even dangerously underweight. Every night they push me to eat more and my moms been watching what goes on my plate every second of every day. Then at night she yells at me for being bossy and picking up the house copulsively, but i cant help it!! i cant eat unless everythin is perfect and the pillows are in the right place and the dishes are in the dishwasher and the counters are clean and the floor is spotless. I even have to clean out a few cupboards or so if i eat too much in one sitting or if im eating to much in any given hour. Its all so confusing because i dont want to worry them anymore by being existant, it seems like iv always been a huge source of stress and unhappiness on them both which is unbearable because i love them with all my heart, they buy me books to read and try to understand all of this but nothing makes it stop. Ill go in the kitchen to get a bunch of food to finally gain weight but i feel like im just wasting their money and raising their hopes for nothing. I tries to kill myself once in 9th grade, it was a half-hearted attempt though, just took like 5 of these pills i found, all they did was make me sleep and taste stuff weird for about a month. Iv been thinking about it so much but i know if i do that then the family will just be even more stressed out and my parents will blame eachother and end up getting a divorce. im so stupid i just wish it would all go away but i cant get my brain to get the whole “they’re only mean to you because your no fun to look at, stop stuffing your face and do something useful”. please give me advice on how to handle this ):

  13. fnally! sorry my comments havent been workng for ages.

    sarah- hi, lsten i know how that feels. your parents are being pushy and demanding only for a reason- they love you and hate seeing you the way you are. they dont want you to be ill or have problems wth so sorry that you tred to commt sucde, but that is NOT the answer. your parents will be heartbrokken and never forgve themselves. you dont want that do you?
    when you dont eat rght, your mind is ill, its malnourished and you dont think clearly. its true, the less u eat the worse it gets, more intrusive thoghts, more unhapiness, more obsession. Its all lies and ts all ana, ana is just a slow death.
    you need to start eating, recovery is the only route out of this.
    you need to thnk of the future, what do u want n life? what do u want to do? where do u want to go? and use that as a motivaton.dont listen to ana and get better. it can be done, and we wll support you!

  14. aw thank you so much, its odd how obvious things like that are so fogged until they’re told straight to your face (: i think i am recovering, iv been eating 2000 calories a day for about a week now and have gained about a pound, mostly healthy foods haha not gaining it all on icecream and whatnot. This would be a good thing but my mom weighs me every other day and i get in trouble if my weight hasnt gone up, but weights really dont work like that and its all just so stressful. I know they’re trying to help though, they’re just people not phyciatrists and they’re diong the best they can to handle this the only way they know how.

    I just really wish my mom would stop telling other people about, she treats me like some gossip toy and whenever we g out all i hear is “so iv heard from your mom your not eating….” and then all day they just join in on pushing food in front of my face. Were going out to visit my family in utah this weekend and shes already told all of them, it makes me feel like i have a pressure to be anorexc now because if shes going to make everyone around us worry about me i might as well give them something to worry about. It sounds bad but thats just how my thinking is going, i dont want to get there and have everyone go “oh…well she definitely doesnt look anorexic”

    Anyways my dad bought me this book called “Biting Anorexia” and it really helped me i would suggest it to anybody who wants to try to understand their disease and make sense of all the voices. Warning to people about this one book called “Wasted” though, everything iv heard about it is bad, its supposed to be a really triggering book and from all the stories iv read they hit their lowest weights reading that book. thank you again aliyah (: its nice to have someone to talk to without worrying about who else these words are going to reach.

  15. hey yeah no problem! i know exactly how you feel. i had anorexia and bulima since was 13, and im 20 now! it took me a lomg time to recover but now i eat whatever i want, whenever and my weght is stable. yes have gained weght but im not fat. and you wont get fat. recovery is about regaining weight your not actually gaining any and what do u gain s our life back!
    as for pushy parents, i think thats very common in ed’s. all i can say is just eatand maybe tell ur parents, have a heart to heart, open up a little bt and tell them how this doesnt help….
    my mum was the same. but it doesnt mean u cant recover. you caan and you WILL. eat regularly and eat as much as u can 🙂 but ENJOY the food and tastes, and vary the diet 🙂

  16. woww you are so strong! its so hard to ignore the urge to just take off one piece of meat or dilute something with water before eating it -.- your right though, hopefully i can learn to eat care freely one day, i still count calories like a mad woman and have to do a few certain excercises before getting any sleep but hopefully itll pass. did you have to see a phyciatrist to be able to stop?

  17. obsession gets better as you eat more. a starved mind is an obsessve mind! theres a famous experment where guys restricted their food intake a lot and, the became very obsessive and also when u dont eat , certain reward circuts in your brain is trggered which gve u that ‘high’ from not eatng. its dangerous, u need to know that eatng is the way to beat ana!
    i went to a psychologist for a while, got weigh ins. but to be perfectl honest it didnt help me much, because she just focused on weight. Instead i used ths site a lot, made friends from here got a lot of support and i studied everything to do wth anorexia and eating disorders and i am doing psychology at uni!

    start to lessen the night time exercuses and replace it with a snack. good luck x

  18. ohh that makes sense.because i always feel like i have to do something to earn what i eat, like before each meal i usually do at least 1 chore or something physically demanding to kind of counter balance it. Thats cool thank you so much your really an amazing person sharing your experiences and helpong other people get through this (: glad you could get over it. wow that doesnt sound helful at all lol i dont like people thinking its about weights because its really not, its just a habit that you build and its really hard to break, like gambling or alcoholism.

    Good luck in college! im taking phyc next year too but just at high school so its not going to really be anything compared to what your doing xD thank you, youv been a great inspiration and really convinced me that eating is the right thing, no matter what my mind is telling me (:

  19. awww no problem sarah! ill always be here for you . and i was gna ask u f u had facebook? x

  20. hey sarah, aliyah is right!! i had CRAZY obsessions because i depleted myself so much. i couldnt fall asleep without my exercises and sometimes if i thought about a certain exercise it meant i had to get down on the floor and do it right away. this continues to happen for a while but little by little it just stated to seem stupid. now, i still do exercises but not in a crazy way. i really cant tell you how my obsessions stopped…it must have just been good nourishment and finding outlets like volunteering. i had a therapist and physiologist but they didnt do much for me. but at meals my mom and i play board games! its so much better! i still have urges to cut out foods that dont mean anything to me…but then i go and eat something i actually like in place of it usually. little by little things will fall into place if you just keep going

  21. My name is Ness. I am a Chef, a baker and a vegan. I have battled with bulemia since the age of 15. And yet I remained a hefty 210 lbs (on my 5’3″ frame). I struggled to understand why I was still so fat, and then one day I stopped throwing up, I started exercising every day and eating very healthy food. I started counting calories, and joined a gym, and I looked fantastic.
    And then it just kept going, and I just could not stop. Day after day spent walking all over the city and then going to the gym, all the while working 8 hour days in the classrooms (kitchens) at school. I graduated on August 18th, 2009 at 5’3″ and 86lbs. My skin was grey, and my hair was falling out, but I still loved myself.
    I am an anorexic chef, and I’m sitting here on my 22nd birthday, one year into recovery and I can’t help but think that maybe I don’t want to recover. Perhaps everything was better before. I don’t remember a life without an ED. It has become all that I know.

  22. ness that is such a sad story. in a way i know how u feel, as i had bulimia and from that developed anorexia. however, i have recovered from it, from as much as that i can enjoy food, eat out, i am not afraid of gaining weight and i know i look better/
    you can escape froma life with ed, u honestly can. do u htink ur profession of being a chef has played a part? why dont u try something else? and start to eat healthy like u used to, eat regulary, REgain back some weight and be strong. you will get through this:) dont let ana destroy anything. it only gets worse, ana is just a slow death

  23. Aliyah you seem to know everything. I do eat healthy, I did regain weight, and my profession is not really the problem, as I have tried many things (forensic science, theatre, personal fitness training…). I recently realized why I am so unsatisfied and unhappy, and it’s just because I refuse to live for myself. I live my life for every other person around me. I lived my life for anorexia, but there is so much more to live for – because I can live for me now.

  24. aw ness thats so sad, dont live ur life to please people all the time, you need to be a bit selfish sometimes. Live for you

  25. Hi,

    I’m new to this and needed to find something to let my feelings out. I went to a therapist which really helps but now I need a nutritionist. I’m 16, 5 3 and im around 97 pounds. My dr and parents tell me I need to gain weight and I know I do, but its just so hard. I constantly count calories and it sucks. Since april I lost 18 pounds, I feel amazing and don’t want my body to change. How do I go with the whole weight gain thing?

  26. hey love (:
    i know right now you may be happy with your body but losing that much weight and restricting calories can really take its toll and make things happen that arent too attractive :/ for example your hair can start to fall out, you can lose your period, you mind just dissapears (my grades arent nearly as good) forgetting names even. the simplest things just get so hard to think of, fur grows pretty much everywhere and then since your cold all the time they stick out contantly from goosebumps D: I’v personally gone through (and still am) going through these things and trust me its not worth it ): The bad things start to really just overwhelm the good things until there is absolutely nothing good about it. Besides guys like girls to be soft, when your that skinny the bones start sticking out and hugs arent nearly as nice as they used to be x.x dont worry about your weight, you have amazing self control so youll never have to worry about being overweight or anything of that sort, all you have to try to do is be a healthy happy weight ^^

    goooooood luck ;P

  27. Thank you for your support! This week has been really strong for me and I have been having a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a chicken salad or turkey sandwich and fruit for lunch, a heavy dinner, and ice cream. Today was the only day I felt gross because I added cookies on to my lunch and I just felt too full but otherwise I have been eating every meal. The scale remains the same but I’m eating and feel better. Thanks again

  28. to all you girls out there struggling and feeling hopeless:
    i was there not long ago. you can even look at my previous posts from months ago. im so much better now. i LOVE everything and im very happy and i came in first at my cross country meet!! i know i need to eat a ton to stay healthy and active and im fine with that. the most astonishing thing is that i really like my body better now!!!! i gained like 15 pounds but i just feel like my shape fits clothes better! i didnt feel like this AT ALL when i was at my tough stages, but girls, THERE HOPE!

  29. Love- hi im aliyah and ive been thorugh what u have, had bulimia and anorexia since the age of 13, and i am now 20 and so much better and healthy. Recovery is hard and emotiona, but its the ONLY escape. if u stay with ana, u will suffer fertility problems, weak bones, coldness, and heart problems. i can safely say, that when u dont eat, and restrict your obsessions get worse,thats why ana spirals out of control. when u start to eat and get better, it gets less. a starved mind is unhealthy. the best thing to do, is get a meal plan stick to it, and keep busy. food is ur medicine, u will feel better one day. and remember ur not gaining weight, you are just regaining back the weight you lost 🙂

  30. im 13 (almost 14) and im a male anorexic.
    been anorexic for a year, but its so bad now i only eat like a few dried fruit pieces in a day.
    i hate seeing my parents suffer by watching me like this.
    i know im anorexic, but i just cant help not eating. my dad says im strong-willed enough to not binge or anything but it kinda makes me wonder why i cant make myself eat even a bit.
    its horrible, im getting skinnier and skinnier i know but i cant help myself. my teeth have lost their colour too and my parents say my face has drained of everything. im going for a hospital appointment tomorrow morning, and I really hope they can do something but im scared what they will do. if they put me in a clinic will they make me eat loads and stuff or will they inject calories into me or something
    i really need someone to talk to thanks

  31. hi, i went to a clinic and yes, it is hard. But, it has to get much much worse before it gets better. i got mad when my friends kept saying that but its so true. i was colorles and lacked shape. but just keep in mind that once you get your head straight again and get used to life the healthy way things just click a little more. the colories are torture at first, but you gotta just let go of control for a while and feel the pain of getting better. it will not be fun, but journal and stuff cause its valuable to look back on . i gained insight from getting better and now i have a better life. ps–my parents forced me to get better, so it wasnt will power

  32. thanks…
    i went to the clinic today.
    im gonna be in intensive care for the next two weeks.
    its so hard, we have to eat breakfast lunch dinner and like snacks too and they force us to eat and today i broke down at dinner and they gave me some calorie shake or whatever and it was so terrible
    i really hope i can do this

  33. a guy- you can do this. trust me, it gets better in time. i recovered from anorexia and bulimia. its hard, and emotional but recovery is possible. i always though i would never do it, but i did and i know u can also.
    eat what ur given, you need a lot of calories, and remmeber that recovery is abotu REgaining back the weight you lost 🙂
    good luck, stay strong, you will win ! 😀

  34. hey (: i was just wondering if its possible to be normal weight but still anorexic, i mean i used to weigh around 95 and now im 110. bbut everyday is obsessed with counting calories and i feel aggitated really often. i still dont have a period and im still losing hair but im eating at least 2000 calories a day. i still work out a bit but hardly anything compared to what i used to do. am i still anorexic? will i ever be able to not be counting calories every second of everyday? i cant even imagine having kids anymore because i get so possesive of food, its so weird i keep telling myself they’ll buy more or theres plently of other things to eat but if my brother digs into one of my foods my chest gets this huge knot and if i dont get my ipod in quick i end up crying or yelling at him. if feels so pointless and stupid but i dont know how to make it stop! D: how do i talk myself out of the anxiety?

  35. Hey everyone,
    i just happened to stumble across this website and all I can say is WOW! I’ve been anorexic for about 2 years now and I have lost count of how many times that I’ve made an attempt to recover. I’ve also been trying to find some website where I can relate to others and confide in each other because we are all going through the same thing. Just a week ago, I’ve decided to make another attempt at recovery. This time I want it to be the last one. Does anyone have any more suggestions on how to beat this???

  36. i been at hospital about 3 to 4 weeks now i think……
    i’ve been doing okay i guess……
    its pretty hard to eat there, but i can do it ‘cos they’re other anorexics eating too soit’s easier
    im a horrible person at home though. whenever they give me leave, i skip meals, skip snacks, when i do eat i eat half the amount im supposed to, i exercise obseessively and im rubbish at eating at home basically .
    am i going to have to stay at a hospital forever??
    they say that i have to eat what they give if i want to maintain the same weight i am and i;ve lost weight since my leave on the weekend.
    i dont want to though co’s im scared i might gain weight. yet i have to gain weight anyway cos otherwise i get stunted growth and end up really short adult and that means i could get fat easily.

  37. one more thing….
    the other day i read a magazine about this woman who was anorexic like really badly
    and she was like reeeeeally really skinny
    and i felt so fat and so bad
    and i wanted to starve
    i’m sick, sick, sick

  38. kate0 yes u can be normal weight and anorexic, because u have the thoughts and behaviours. i think the best thing for you to do, is to eat well, eat 3 meals a day with snacks, focus on a routine of eating, and try to find parts of ur body u do like, and show them off in nice clothes! i recovered from anorexia, dont have the thoughts now, and prefer the way i look. its definetly better to look healthy!

  39. a guy- right now your mind is unhealthy, and thats because it is starved. the less u eat, the worse anorexia gets. this is why u actually really do need to eat , well and REgain back some weigfht. recovery isnt about gaining weight, its about REgaining back what you lost. stay strong, and stop looking at anorexic people, its unhealthy, and sick, and a slow death. i used to be anorexic, recovery is sthe best think i have ever done. i will support and encourage you ! 🙂

  40. sarah- the only way to rid of thougfhts, is to not give into them. i think a but more time and patience, and continued healthy eating and u will definetly get less thoughts., often the thoughts take a lot longer to go than the actual physical side, so just stick in there and u will be fine honestly! and never ever believe those thoughts. just try to replace it with something else.

  41. thank you so much (: im actually getting kind of happier with my body. I even went trick or treating!! ahah im going to get obese from all the chocolate but i hardly care because its a one time holiday and holidays are meant to be celebrated xD hope you guys all get better soon, at first its hard but it get better if you just keep going towards recovery <3(:

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  43. Hi ppl. It’s great to find a site where I can read others experiences.
    I am seeing a dietician and had put me on a 1,900 calorie diet a few weeks back. I struggled but one week I finally managed to meet my goal every day. Then the week after (two weeks ago) I was put up straight away to a 2,200-2,300 a day. It seems alot so quickly but the durst week I was on that I put in just half a pound as opposed to 2pound which I had put on during the 1,900 week. So my metabolism must be catching up.
    I do find it so scary though…my stomach still gets bloated and looks pregnant but i am handling portions better as in not feeling as full afterwards.
    But I feel out of control. I still think about food all tje time snd crave it.
    I still think I’m having two portions of say noodles or something instead if one. I get addicted to certain foods that I acually enjoy.. And then I worry it’s too much or I’ll get flabby cod it’s not in moderation if it’s everyday or twice a day. Eg: ommelettes/egg whites, English muffin 1or2 with ham, egg and slice of lowlow cheese.

    Anyway my dietician is excellent and answers everything. But one thing I can’t get my head round is he always says I can’t overdo it at the moment, there is no limit to how much fat, sat fat or sugar daily I can consume…that the GDAs don’t apply to me. He said if it wernt for nutritional needs for the human body (ESP mine as it is ATM) then I could have 8mars bars a day and I wouldn’t get fat if I’m in my calorie range: he said it’s all about calories, not fats and sugars anyway.
    And he wants me to have two or at least one proper pudding a day such as rice pudding or sponge pudding with custard instead of weight watchers desserts etc.
    I love weight watchers desserts so I will keep getting them every so often but I need these proper puddings to get calories in easier and to get used to real food and tastes again.
    Can anyone pls match his advice? Is that right that fats etc don’t apply to me? I hope so cos it excites me that I can eat whatever I want whenever as he says ATM and not gain flab. I still got to have nutrition of course…he isn’t saying to just eat chocs, pudding etc but he wants me to have them cos i gotta learn to enjoy my food without being scared.
    I havnt had anything but crisps everyday with my lunch and one square of dark chic the other day as far as junk food goes. I do have two to four rich tea biscuits daily with a cuppa tho.
    I look things up and read no fats are still bad for you evrn if you are underweight etc. And I gotta work out too. My advisors tell me to only exercise as I’m walking 15-20 mins a day if I want to and I’m allowed to do yoga and weights etc but ive yet to keep up with the weights as I find it too boring 🙁
    I do crunches alot amd most days do 15 mins of yoga on wii fit.
    The only walking I really do apart from shopping omce or twice a week is walking round the house all morning doing housework which is more than 15minutes totalled anyway I’m sure.
    I’m not really skinny or anything. I went down to 7and a half stone (maybe more) from 18/19 stone when I decided to lose weight. My periods have stopped, I’m bony in some places and I’m cold and tired all the time. Last week I weighed in and came to just over 8 stone.
    The dietician says for me (age 26, female, 5ft 5, and my activity level which I think is mainly sedentary cos I’m too tired to do anything but lie down all day and I can’t work), I burn about 1,500 a day and my ideal weight is 8st 8 to 10 10 I think ge said. We are upping calories to reach a goal quicker of 9st or 9 abd a half.
    I just ate two eggs in a ham ommelette abd feel fat knowing there’s 50% fat in that!! Already half the GDA!! I want another one so I’ll just use egg whites. Wonder how many to use to make same size ommelette? Egg whites are ok to eat few times daily? Sorry for the ling post. I got no choice but to listen to the dietician and I hope to god he’s right about the fats etc. I know my body needs em but I said so I can go three or four times over the daily limit a day then every day and not get flabby or fat and not pile it on? He said that’s right. Not that I would of course.

  44. i just got diagonsed with anorexia – bulemia , my docotrs are making a meal plan for me and are forcing me to eat and watching everything i eat. Its so hard. I’ve never found anyone to talk to with this same problem until this website i just was wondering if any of you had anytips of how to get through the first stages of recovery without going crazy!

  45. Hi Jen,
    Do you have a trustworthy friend(even if it is just one) that you might be able to open up to about everything that is going on? It was scary for me to take that leap because I don’t trust people easily. For such a long time, no one knew about this eating disorder-not even my closest friends. I starting seeing a therapist that was trained to counsel people with ED and she encouraged me to find one friend that I thought might be supportive in my recovery. My friend does not have an eating disorder but she was willing to just listen to me vent, freak out, and text me through a meal when I just really didn’t want to eat. That kind of support really helps cause yes- it is hard.

    I did/still do write a lot as well. It just helps get whatever is going on inside out of me in a not so destructive way. You can do this. Be strong!

  46. thanks neko and yes i have a couple close very suportive friends that know about it and that i can vent to. youre right it definitely helps! but i think i am also going to see a therapist soon like you so hopefully that will help get me through this even more.

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