motivation, marriage and work relationships

as you can see, i haven’t been a very busy posting beaver lately.  i’ve been watching my energy level and need to put some things on the back burner.  every morning i come up with all kinds of wonderful ideas for blog posts but by the time i find a moment to post something, there’s not much left in the ol’ battery.

but let me just say a few words.  here are some things i’ve been thinking about.  motivation is one.  motivation is something i think about a lot.  how come there are sooo many solutions to problems out there (and more importantly, in here) and we don’t reach for them?  doesn’t that baffle you, too?  “there are more solutions than problems” said one of my clients today.  i totally agree.  what is it that doesn’t let us go for the solutions?  there is a lack of drive, of motivation.  how can that motivation be increased?

i’m also mulling about a 7-part relationship model, comprised of physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, social and cultural aspects.  obviously, that goes for romantic relationships.  not entirely sure why i keep insisting on separating the physical and sexual aspects.  will the model hold true for non-romantic relationships as well, say, for friendships?  and why don’t i have a financial aspect?

talking about romantic relationships.  some of you are probably familiar with the work of john gottman, one of the most important researchers in the area of marital relationships (my blogging friend from coffeeyoghurt talks about it here).  i’ve been wondering how to apply his findings to work relationships.  among other thingsm he talks about the “four horsemen” that herald a breakup or at least a major crisis in a marriage – criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.  probably i’m not the first person who’se been wondering this; maybe i’ll have time one of these days to check it out.

so there it is.  a few things to ponder.  hopefully i’ll have something a bit more substantive to say soon.  in the meantime: peace and love to you all!


  1. Hi Isabella, what’s the difference between social and cultural?

    As to motivation, I think it is the conflict of competing needs and desires.

  2. the difference between “social” and “cultural”: “social” refers to how we act and feel in present situations; for example, there is some connection to being introvert and extrovert (actually, i believe the whole idea arose out of the meyers briggs personality types). “cultural” could be called “cultural/historical” – what type of family did you grow up in, what type of culture, and how does that shape you?

    i had thought about the conflict re motivation but what you said makes me think to look into the the competion between different LEVELS of needs. e.g. need level #1: i need a job, and therefore should do a lot of networking. need level #2: i need to stay safe, and therefore shouldn’t talk to strangers.

    evan, i think i’ve started a pavlovian reaction to you. by now i’m so used to your inspiring comments, i just need to see your name and already i start thinking 🙂
    .-= isabella mori (@moritherapy)´s last blog ..motivation, marriage and work relationships =-.

  3. Thanks Isabella. That distinction between the social and historical makes good sense to me.

    I’m glad you like my comments, hope you are having a great day.
    .-= Evan´s last blog ..Regrets =-.

  4. I really do agree with your second paragraph. There’s a lot more solutions in every problem but what’s lacking is our motivation to find that solution. That makes me think and wonder what are the best motivation we need in order for us to go with the soultions?

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