the buck stops here! well, where exactly?

a few weeks ago, i had coffee with an ex-colleague of my husband’s, chris obst, who now has a successful practice as a management consultant and coach. we had a wonderful conversation; a busy man, he was still generous with his time, and truly interested in what i had to say.

chris has a monthly newsletter, wisdom at work, and i enjoy reading it (in fact, that’s how come i had coffee with him in the first place; these newsletters work, people!) this month he has an interesting question:

what have you been tolerating that you won’t put up with this year?

a question about what we tolerate is always fascinating. it’s about moving from surviving to thriving. for example, for a woman who lives in a highly abusive relationship, survival is paramount. dysfunctional family dynamics with her siblings, mediocre health or a lousy employer are a joke compared to that. but a year or so after she’s gotten rid of the abuser, she’s ready to move past survival, she’s ready to thrive: how much of her brother’s whining, her constant headaches and the lack of benefits at work is she willing to put up with? and, come to think of it, why should she?

with the exception of the most exalted, most of us have little (or big!) pockets in our lives where we still haven’t moved from survival to thriving.

let’s ask this question, too, then. there’s a subtle but powerful difference between saying, “geez, i really should start eating more organic food” and “i just won’t put my body through digesting all these pesticides anymore!”

what have you been tolerating that you won’t put up with this year?

look at your

  • health
    • health care
    • mental health
    • fitness
    • weight
    • nutrition
    • wellness
  • time management
  • self-talk (now THERE’s something we could all improve on)
  • relationships (both how they relate to you and how you relate to them)
    • work
    • school
    • intimates
    • extended family
    • friends
    • pets
  • local politics
  • environment
  • other things …?

let us know here in the comments!

7 thoughts on “the buck stops here! well, where exactly?

  1. Nickie

    There are a few things. First, this living at the top of the pain scale has to stop, learning to live with it isn’t getting me anywhere, I need to get the pain to where I can live with it. I’m also making a commitment to engaging in self-care, I will not tolerate this forgetting to eat, not having time to relax lifestyle anymore.

    Nickie’s last blog post..Caring for My Scars

  2. Nickie

    There are a few things. First, this living at the top of the pain scale has to stop, learning to live with it isn’t getting me anywhere, I need to get the pain to where I can live with it. I’m also making a commitment to engaging in self-care, I will not tolerate this forgetting to eat, not having time to relax lifestyle anymore.

    Nickie’s last blog post..Caring for My Scars

  3. isabella mori

    powerful stuff, nickie. i love how forceful your language is. “this has to stop”. “i need to get it to where … “. “i’m making a commiment”. “i will not tolerate”.

    you’re one awesome woman.

    it’s interesting, too, that that both of you, nickie and merelyme, are people dealing with severe chronic conditions.

    coincidence?

  4. isabella mori

    powerful stuff, nickie. i love how forceful your language is. “this has to stop”. “i need to get it to where … “. “i’m making a commiment”. “i will not tolerate”.

    you’re one awesome woman.

    it’s interesting, too, that that both of you, nickie and merelyme, are people dealing with severe chronic conditions.

    coincidence?

  5. Jim

    Is it time to join ‘I’m mad as hell and I won’t tke any more’?

    Or time to stop bitching and learn to accept ‘this is it’ and just get on with life?

    Or ‘be the change you want to see’?

    Jim’s last blog post..Working for yourself

  6. Jim

    Is it time to join ‘I’m mad as hell and I won’t tke any more’?

    Or time to stop bitching and learn to accept ‘this is it’ and just get on with life?

    Or ‘be the change you want to see’?

    Jim’s last blog post..Working for yourself

  7. isabella mori

    hi jim, and welcome to this blog!

    these are great questions. my experience has been that different approaches work for different personalities. i think all three of these questions can be powerful motivators, depending on your personal make-up and where you’re at in your life.

    e.g., at this point in my life, and with my INFP personality, “time to stop bitching” doesn’t do very much for me but “be the change you want to see” has always been a powerful motivator for me.

  8. isabella mori

    hi jim, and welcome to this blog!

    these are great questions. my experience has been that different approaches work for different personalities. i think all three of these questions can be powerful motivators, depending on your personal make-up and where you’re at in your life.

    e.g., at this point in my life, and with my INFP personality, “time to stop bitching” doesn’t do very much for me but “be the change you want to see” has always been a powerful motivator for me.

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