here is what i reported on twitter today:
my daughter’s baby shower. big belly. lotza family. food everywhere!!!! and homemade wine. afterwards: canasta, hysterical laughter.
but maybe i’ll expand on that a bit here?
so this is granny post #2 (granny post #1 is here). am i used to this granny role yet? i’m not sure. one of the changes i’ve noticed, though, is that as soon as my daughter moved out to live with her boyfriend, my attitude towards her changed. i’ve turned from loving-but-no-nonsense to loving-and-solicitous, from, “hey! pick up your socks!” to, “are you comfortable? can i get you some more tea?”
it was great to see her there among all these people, a fertility queen presiding on her mother-to-be throne, graciously receiving gift after gift i was proud to be the queen mother.
and it was heart-warming and exciting to connect with a whole bunch of people who i had never met before. the boyfriend’s mother, equally delighted at the prospect of finally becoming a grandmother, had invited some of co-workers and family members, people who we otherwise probably would have never met (well, except for one the boyfriend’s relatives – sorry, couldn’t keep track who was an aunt, who was a great aunt and who was a cousin – who my husband thinks he’s met while volunteering at the jazz festival).
it feels like this child that is not even born yet is already reaching out, making new connections all of her/his own, already a little individual in her/his own right. is this like the original process of coming-to-be? an egg and a sperm meet, form one cell – but immediately the cell separates into two and starts building its own world.
maybe, too, i’m in the process of birthing into grandmotherhood? today it felt like i took a step out of being just my daughter’s mother towards truly becoming a mother-and-grandmother. took the step out of an old role and now i’m somewhere in mid-role, or in-between-role. an exhilarating, magical place to be.