is it valentine’s day yet? what? i missed it? drat! yup, that was one of the things that fell between the cracks during my trip to europe. what also fell between the cracks was telling you about an ebook that chelle kindly invited me to participate in. as a gift to her readers on valentine’s day, she put together love everyday e-book. a nifty idea, the book looks at marriage and romantic relationships through the lends of the little things we do each and every day: waking up and hitting the snooze button, drinking that morning cup of coffee, sitting through traffic, going to work, doing housework, grocery shopping, logging onto the internet. some writers use these lenses as metaphors (“how do you fuel your relationship?”), others talk directly about the topic; for example i write about how the internet and marriage interact with each other. you can download the book here.
two entries particularly caught my eye. one was “what are you waiting for?” by pat flynn. i like the urgency of the tone:
what are you waiting for?
a sign? something to happen that tells you it’s the right time?
signs aren’t always things that happen. more often than not, signs come from the things that don’t happen.
what are you waiting for?
are you waiting for permission? someone to tell you that it’s okay?
permission from someone else is never as important as the permission that you have to give yourself first.
complacency is probably one of the biggest stumbling blocks in a marriage. i like how pat challenges this attitude.
i was also impressed by lori lowe’s contribution, pour on love: how to love your spouse generously. an excerpt:
gaining a little more happiness is like gaining a little more money; you always want more. but giving and receiving love generates fulfillment. there are myriad ways to show love, but we know love when we see it, hear it, read it, and feel it. love is in the details, the thoughtfulness, the caring.
when you act in a loving”even sacrificial”manner, you experience the paradox of giving. this is the secret your grandparents knew about: it is in giving that we receive. the joy and love you give returns to you. yes, it is risky to invest yourself fully …
how can you pour on love?
voraciously study your spouse. put as much energy into that research as in your career and hobbies. try to understand and participate in their interests as they change over time”recreational, musical, romantic, sexual and culinary interests. ask about your partner’s hopes, preferences, desires, dislikes, and fears. encourage their dreams. communicate your needs and desires as well. be the one who knows them best, and help them to know your heart. …
do it without keeping score. do it without stopping. do it with love.
here are the other contributors to the book:
- dr. michelle gannon – marriage prep 101
- paul & lori byerly – the generous husband the generous wife
- denee king – she just got married
- corey allan – the simple marriage
- toni & alisa dilorenzo – one extraordinary marriage
- stu gray – the marry blogger
- dustin riechmann – engaged marriage
- lori lowe – life gems
- sheri kruger – zen family habits serene journey
- mandi ehman – organizing your way
- maureen shaw – feeling flirty
- trudy sargent – love talk
- isabella mori – change therapy
- cindy j. taylor – affair care
- alisa bowman – project happily ever after
- j. money – budgets are sexy
- dan miller – 48 days
- damien riley – damien at the speed of life
- samantha mellen – mama notes
- pat flynn – smart passive income blog
- kathleen quiring – project m
- jeff nickles – my super-charged life
- brad chaffee – enemy of debt
- nate desmond – practical manliness
- carrie burgan – make mine happe