valentine’s day – a day of germination

valentine’s day, similar to groundhog day, the celtic imbolc and the carnival festivities in western europe, is a celebration that heralds the slowly awakening forces of spring. it’s still cold and nasty outside but we can all feel that stirring deep down, we all know that the seeds in the ground are starting to send out their first little shoots that will eventually break through the earth. it’s a time of germination.

what seeds are you planting this year? which ones are you going to let develop as they will, and which ones will you tend?

one of the things i want to do this year is to put on a wild women dancing event. don’t quite know yet when, how or where – but that seed is in the ground, and i’m going to do what i can to let it grow and unfurl a beautiful flower.

in the first week of january, many of us make resolutions. often, by the third or forth week, these resolutions dissipate. some resolutions are genuinely hard to follow. sometimes the desired end result is something that we only want on the surface. sometimes the end result is genuinely worthwhile but we don’t have all the tools and paths in place to reach it.

weight loss is a prime example, of course. some people have weight loss as a goal because they feel they need to conform to the ideal body portrayed everywhere in the media. but when they’re honest with themselves, do they really want to lose these 5, 6 pounds? is it worth the effort?

other people would receive definite health benefits from losing weight, so their resolution might say, this year i am going to lose weight! then they spend a few days eating rice crackers and non-fat yoghurt, and a week later, they are back to their old eating habits.

both these situations are pretty demoralizing. first, because both of them are almost destined to fail. the first person is chasing after a goal that may not be worth her while, and the second is reaching for one that she may not yet have the tools to achieve.

both are seeds in the ground that may never blossom.

there are two words here that bring hope, though: “yet” and “may”. the tools may not yet be there but can be acquired. and the seeds may not blossom – but if we put some loving care and attention to them, they can.

so … how about it? how about making a valentine’s day resolution? a resolution to not discard those new years resolutions but to see whether you truly want to nurture those seeds. if it’s been a bit challenging so far to do this, ask yourself, how could i nurture those seeds? what can i do? what have i not tried yet? and perhaps, how can i playfully, with ease and a smile on my face, allow the seeds of my wishes to reach the sun of fulfilment?

if you think i might be able to help you with this, please get in touch with me.

isabella mori
moritherapy
counselling in vancouver

4 thoughts on “valentine’s day – a day of germination

  1. Nickie

    I love the concept of using the right tools. I’ve found that thinking of skills and methods as tools in a toolbox helps me feel that I have better control of the situation. Instead of feeling out of control and like I don’t have influence on whatever it is I’m trying to change, I find that the image of using tools helps add that element of security and feeling of actually doing something to change the situation.

    It also seems to be one of the ways of thinking about social work, and one I think I will use with future clients. Thanks for yet another excellent post!

  2. Nickie

    I love the concept of using the right tools. I’ve found that thinking of skills and methods as tools in a toolbox helps me feel that I have better control of the situation. Instead of feeling out of control and like I don’t have influence on whatever it is I’m trying to change, I find that the image of using tools helps add that element of security and feeling of actually doing something to change the situation.

    It also seems to be one of the ways of thinking about social work, and one I think I will use with future clients. Thanks for yet another excellent post!

  3. ashok

    Off-topic:

    Thanks for the post on my blog. I’m not sure how to elaborate on the “I need to be found” bit. It’s something reached only after I realized how much previous lovers were taking me for granted – not that I’m a saint, but when I watched them go back to lovers that had abused them, I just wondered if anything I had said meant anything.

    So I don’t know that I’m saying it out of any sense of humility, but rather arrogance on my part, and I don’t think that’s a good attitude.

  4. ashok

    Off-topic:

    Thanks for the post on my blog. I’m not sure how to elaborate on the “I need to be found” bit. It’s something reached only after I realized how much previous lovers were taking me for granted – not that I’m a saint, but when I watched them go back to lovers that had abused them, I just wondered if anything I had said meant anything.

    So I don’t know that I’m saying it out of any sense of humility, but rather arrogance on my part, and I don’t think that’s a good attitude.

  5. isabella mori

    nickie – thanks for another interesting comment. using tools … what i’m wondering is, what is the right tool? maybe a tool is right only under certain circumstances. let’s think about nails. sometimes – a thick, long nail and a hard surface – we definitely need a hammer for a tool, and maybe even a very special hammer. but in lots of other situations, anothing hammer-like will do, and we might even be wasting our time looking for Just-The-Right-Hammer when we can improvise will all kinds of other, more handy tools.

  6. isabella mori

    nickie – thanks for another interesting comment. using tools … what i’m wondering is, what is the right tool? maybe a tool is right only under certain circumstances. let’s think about nails. sometimes – a thick, long nail and a hard surface – we definitely need a hammer for a tool, and maybe even a very special hammer. but in lots of other situations, anothing hammer-like will do, and we might even be wasting our time looking for Just-The-Right-Hammer when we can improvise will all kinds of other, more handy tools.

  7. isabella mori

    ashok – is your comment really off topic? does the little germ deep in the earth not also need to be found by water, nutrients, warms and eventually, the light of the sun, just like you want to be found by a lover?

  8. isabella mori

    ashok – is your comment really off topic? does the little germ deep in the earth not also need to be found by water, nutrients, warms and eventually, the light of the sun, just like you want to be found by a lover?

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