i’m more evil than john chow!
people say john chow is evil (if you don’t know him: he’s one of the first bloggers who wasn’t ashamed to make lots of money online). now we know the truth: i’m way more evil than john chow!
you see, there is a test now – very scientific and mathematically precise, i’m sure, and desperately needed, that i know – that measures the worth of your soul. according to that test, my soul is worth $66,055 soul dollars. john chow’s soul, on the other hand – a holy man, apparently, not an evil one – is worth $666,666!
the questions and answers are evil in and of themselves, for example:
you have a fistfull of useless change, what are you going to do with it?
. throw it into a fountain. making sure people are playing there, first.
. climb to the top of a very tall building and drop the coins, just to see if the rumour about them hitting someone is true.
. shake it in the face of a homeless person.
. spend it. that’s my cigarette money.
. glue it to the ground and laugh as people hopelessly try to pick it up. like
do you help old ladies across the street, or kick them when they fall over?
. i help them across the street all the time. i also make sure to steal their welfare checks from their purse.
. neither. they should be able to help themselves.
. i suppose i kick them. more than once.
. i’m usually the reason they fell down in the first place.
what i found amusing about this exercise is that, as you can see, many of the questions have answers that i wouldn’t normally choose. so what’s the second best answer? and why? and why didn’t i turn away from it in disgust?
now we know: because i’m evil. to the tune of a measly $66,055 bucks.