going up the country

yeah, i’m goin’ up the country, for my yearly week in the sunny okanagan, canada’s version of california.  for some reason, after mental health camp, my batteries are taking forever to recharge.  maybe because i never fully recovered from my trip to germany.  maybe because i had a mental health blip (was it a mini episode of depression?  or what?  it sure felt like the wiring in my brain was going all bzzzzzz and chrkhrrrrk) a few days before mental health camp.  maybe because there was some drama there.  maybe because work has been very intense.  maybe because i haven’t repainted my toenails yet.  who knows.

but as always, there is some learning.  i feel uncomfortable that i’m not back to form yet.  i should be back to form!  i should get things done and not be so friggin’ unproductive!  i should not get all squirmy and guilty when i say “no” to people and events.

well, you can hear the shoulds.

the truth is, it takes as long as it takes, and no-one but i can take responsibility for looking after myself.  there is no mathematical formula whereby i can calculate how long it takes for my batteries to charge.  it just is what it is.

so i’m going up to kelowna, where i’ll do as much relaxation as possible and you know what?  if i’m back and i still don’t feel recharged, i’ll just have to relax some more.

shoulds be damned.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *