queer stories from the world of crystal meth

i just came across tweaker, a site dedicated to educating queer folk on crystal meth. i’m going to let some of the stories speak for themselves:

from the mother of a gay man

Having a gay son encouraged me to educate myself and get to know his world – to try to understand and embrace and accept his loving way of life. I wanted to open my mind and my heart – even more so to understand and absorb such differences among humankind. One thought persistently goes through my mind … doesn’t love truly exist and flourish between two hearts … between two souls? Does race, gender, geography or social status really matter?

from a 30-year-old woman:

I’ve been doing the tweak thing for long enough that I can predict and deflect dangers. I have been psychotic, homeless, desperate and victimized-all in my early 20s. When I turned 25 and realized that my life had somehow gotten away from me very quickly, I felt like the rug had been ripped out from under me. Talk about panic!

I cleaned my act up and started working in Harm Reduction and HIV Prevention. I didn’t view drug use as bad anymore and quit listening to the masses of guilty parties who espoused the War on Drugs. Then I decided to use again — back to the rig that I had always kind of idolized.

I shoot meth every day. Some people think this is scandalous. I have friends that do it — but when I look at their life, it seems out of control and messy. I don’t want to end up like that — I don’t want to cross over into psychosis — I don’t want my family to find out.

But I can’t tell you that I want to stop now either. First of all, I hate anyone who considers themselves in “recovery”. I think the whole 12 step thing is a giant cult and I get as far away from that as possible. Been there, done that, thank you very much.

The veins along the crooks of my arms aren’t too pretty. It’s obvious what I do — anyone who knows a thing or two can recognize a track mark. But I don’t necessarily want to quit. But I don’t want to suffer either.

from a man who stopped using crystal meth

As a man who believes myself to be HIV-, I practice safer sex. While we were making out, we watched porn, and it was only after an hour that I noticed what was missing in the video: condoms. As the year went by, and I used more each time, I started to notice the questions I didn’t ask. When I cruised for guys online, I no longer asked about safer sex, HIV status, or STDs. Often I stopped really caring what they looked like. And while this may seem a minor point, it was a departure from 20 years of caution — enough to scare me.

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